!Reality Overload Warning!     Escape to Star Trek (Y/n)?
"                                  " - [cloaked tagline]
"#Include <me out>" - Sam Goldwyn
"42"?!  7.5 million years and all y-- oh, you were running Windows ..."
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"
"A dirty book is rarely dusty"
"A lie is terminological inexactitude." Churchill
"A phaser is the universal communicator."
"All decks, condition red!" - Sulu
"All life's answers are on TV" -Homer Simpson
"And this, Wesley, is an airlock."
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
"Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!?"
"Back to reality." - Sulu
"Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?"
"Bones, I'm a captain, not a doctor." -Kirk
"Borg?  I don't see any B%^&# NO CARRIER
"Bother!", said Pooh, vomiting up the gagh.
"Bother!", said Pooh, as Klingons ran past his Promenade shop again.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Kira ate him instead of the palukoo.
"Bother", said Pooh, as the glue holding his goatee beard failed.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Kai Opaka gripped his earlobe.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Worf nicked him in a Bat'leth tournament.
"Bother", said Pooh, as his amorous advances were rejected by Dax.
"Bother", said Pooh, as the Jem'Hadar fighter crashed into his ship.
"Bother", said Pooh, as the away team beamed up without him.
"Bother", said Pooh, losing count as he counted all of Dax's spots.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Dax's cold hands made him jump in bed.
"Bother", said Pooh, getting his head stuck on a stick of jumja.
"Bother", said Pooh, as he was voted most unrealistic alien on DS9.
"Bother", said Pooh, trying to find his self-sealing stem bolts.
"Bother", said Pooh, tasting the yamok sauce.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Garanian Bolites made him itch & change color.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Kira accused him of being a Cardassian spy.
"Bother", said Pooh, as he found Odo in his honey pot.
"Bother", said Pooh, realising Odo was disguised as his honey pot.
"Bother", said Pooh, as he lost again at 'Quarks Place'.
"Bother", said Pooh, wishing he had a nose like a Bajoran.
"Bother", said Pooh, trying to figure out how Odo forms a commbadge.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Kira told him her nose was cuter than his.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Kira laughed at his non-existant genitalia.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Major Kira kicked him in the crotch.
"Bother", said Pooh, as Keiko O'Brien gave him a -F- for his work.
"Bother",said Pooh,as Lursa & B'Etor refused to conceive his children.
"Bother," said Pooh, as his character was replaced by Worf.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he saw the mushroom cloud.
"C++" should have been called "B-".
"Captain Picard, I have a clever plan!" - Ensign Baldrick
"Captain, I sense millions of minds focused on my cleavage." --Troi
"Captain, you _can't_ mix matter & anti-matter _cold_!" - Scotty
"Captains Log, Stardate 1673.1  - Something has happened to me." -Kirk
"Captains Log Supplemental. The Enterprise is spiralling down..."-Kirk
"Computer, delete WESLEY.EXE" - Entire Enterprise crew.
"Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing."
"Cut life support to all quarters with children" - Picard
"DEL *.*" - 100% file compression.
"DOS=HIGH" Hmm, I knew it was on something...
"Data enjoys a lot of confusion, Jean-Luc." - Deanna
"Data! I thought you were dead!" "No, Sir. I rebooted."
"Did ya put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was burning"
"Don't mince words ... what do you *REALLY* think?"
"Ensgin Expendable, step on that rock!" - Kirk
"Even historians fail to learn from history." -John Gill
"Every man has his time, every man, without exception." - Picard
"Every woman should marry -- and no man." Disraeli
"Everybody, remember where we parked." -- Adm. Kirk, STIV
"Everyone lives by selling something." - R.L. Stevenson
"Excuse me, do you mind if I squish in here?" - Odo
"Facts are stupid things" - Ronald Reagan
"Facts, though interesting, are in my opinion irrelevant." - The Borg.
"Fascinating," said Spock, watching Kirk's lousy acting.
"Fire, Mr. Worf!"  [Worf picks up extinguisher]
"For once I agree with you, doctor." - Spock
"Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid" FDR
"God said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light." Pope
"Gun's don't kill people...Class 2 phasers do!"
"Hang onto being a human for one minute longer!" - Kirk
"Help! I've fallen and can't get up." A. Tree
"His death is irrelevant, Jim." - McCoy of Borg
"History tends to exaggerate." -Colonel Green
"How can you be deaf with ears like that?" - McCoy
"How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!"
"I am Keating of Borg, prepare to be bankrupted!"
"I am Lennon of Borg.  Imagine there's no assimilation ..."
"I am a Klingon, sir. I *DO NOT* whistle while I work!"
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov
"I must precaution you, that legal trickery is not permitted!" - Q
"I never did trust this thing in the first place." - McCoy
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" - Groucho Marx
"I remember every fact I am exposed to, Admiral"  Data
"I survived torture.  I'm ready to date Lwaxana." -Picard
"I understand your concerns.  Request denied." -- Data
"I used a hand phaser and ZAP!, hot coffee." - Yeoman Rand
"I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the words." Spock
"I wonder what makes it _do_ that?!" - McCoy
"I'm a grub. And I'm here to help you!"  Kirk
"I'm a lawyer." "Honest?" "No, the usual kind."
"I'm confining you to quarters. I want you to stay there." - Kirk
"I'm happy the affair's over. A most annoying emotional episode."-Spock
"If I were human, I believe my response would be 'Go to hell.'" -Spock
"If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger."
"If you hear muffled screams, consider that a request for a beam out."
"If you want to make enemies, try to change something." - Woodrow Wilson
"Imagination rules the world" Napoleon I (1769-1821)
"In my expert medical opinion, I'd say it's...sick." - Bashir
"Is that your name or your species?" - O'Brien
"It can't happen here" is number one on the list of famous last words.
"It compiled?  The first screen came up?  Ship it!" -- Bill Gates
"It's a mystery and I don't like mysteries!" - Kirk
"It's like nothing we've dealt with before." - Spock
"It's not an inference. It's a definite suspicion." - Odo
"It's not supposed to do that." - McCoy
"Keep the smoke inside." -- 1st Rule of Electronics.
"Keep your eggs in one basket. And watch it carefully!" - Mark Twain
"Keptin, a Romulan Wessel ahead!" "A _wessel_, Mr.Chekov?"
"Logic is logic. That's all I say." Holmes
"Lubricant. Pennzoil. Steaming hot." * Locutus of Borg
"MODEM"... Mostly Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
"Meanwhile, we remain in orbit to complete our mission." - Kirk
"Medically impossible by any standards." - McCoy
"Men, in general, are but great great children" Napoleon
"Mister Worf, show these children the airlock." - Picard
"Modesty died when false modesty was born." Mark Twain
"Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition."
"Most humanoids have the potential to be irrational" - Data
"Mr Worf, scan that ship!" "Aye, Captain. 300 dpi?"
"My demonstration of concern will not change what has happened."-Spock
"Our Pentium-driven sensors indicate 3.000005243 Romulans decloaking."
"Picard, get some hair. Your brain has caught cold." * Q
"Push to test" ..<click>.. "Release to detonate"
"Q wants to do something *nice* for me." "I'll alert the crew."
"Scotty!, beam me Augggg!" *...NO CARRIER
"Seek Error" - Who told it to look for anything?
"Simon, can you pronounce your name backwards?"... "No Mis"
"Sir, it's the USS CH9 hailing.. Look! there's repeats of us on!"
"Sir, there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder"  Spock
"Stop smirking Number One." - Picard
"Stressed" is just desserts spelled backwards.
"Tea, Earl Grey, Hot." -Picard "Ale, Romulan, Lots." -Kirk
"The impossible has happened." - Kirk
"The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept." Shake
"The only victory over love is flight."  Napoleon
"The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take." -Roy Carlson
"The welfare of the people is the chief law."  Cicero
"The word?  The word is 'no.'  I am, therefore, going anyway." - Kirk
"The world's a theater, the earth a stage" -- WS
"There are _many_ things I don't understand, doctor." - Kirk
"Thief" is so ugly.  I prefer "Creative Acquisition Specialist."
"This hat's not big enough for both of us" :Guinan
"Unlike you, we humans are full of unpredictable emotions." - Kirk
"We are Homer of Borg.  Prepare to be assimil...oooh, doughnuts...."
"We're beaming down with some questions." - Kirk
"Welcome to Earth, third rock from the sun!"
"When it comes to computer security, paranoia is not enough." - Ralph Jones
"Who am I to argue with the Captain of the Enterprise?" - Kirk
"Will toys amuse when medicines cannot cure?" Reverend Edward Young
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." - L. Long
"You can explain _that_ to the Captain." - Spock
"You could say, I have a magnetic personality!" - Data
"You have your intelligence controlling your fear." - Spock
"You're concerned over a letter of the alphabet?" - Lwaxana
'To be or not to be'... that's not a question!!!
((wrong && wrong) != right)
(A)bort, (F)ail, (T)oss computer across room
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the @#$&*~ thing!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)ue
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)ell it
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)rab_Hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (W)hackitonthesideofthemonitor!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (K)ick system
(A)bort, (R)etry, or (C)oerce with hammer.
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)izza?
(Ice rocks hit the hull)  "Captain, we are being hailed."
*   <- Tribble     *}  -    |  <- Tribble Archery
*   <- Tribble     *\  |--| /*   <- Tribble polevaulting
*   <- Tribble        <- Tribble after big dinner
*   <- Tribble     o   <- Jean Luc Tribble
*   <- Tribble     *  <- Squared tribbles
*   <- Tribble     _   <- Tribble vs. Godzilla
*   <- Tribble     -*-*-*-*-      <- Tribble kabob
*   <- Tribble     *  <- Grandpa Tribble with his cane
*   <- Tribble     *\\ <- Tribble Going Skiing
*   <- Tribble        <- Tribble in Transporter.
*   <- Tribble        <- Tribble Sandwich
*   <- Tribble        <- Teenage mutant ninja tribble
*   <- Tribble         <- Cloaked Tribble
*   <- Tribble       <- Tribble on a windy day.
*   <- Tribble     o*o <- Tribble bicycling
*   <- Tribble     .   <- Tribble after a haircut
*   <- Tribble     #   <- Electrocuted tribble.
*   <- Tribble     */ \* <- Tribbles swordfighting
*   <- Tribble     ,*, <- Tribble with legs showing
*   <- Tribble     <*> <- Tribble with shields up
*   <- Tribble     #   <- Tribble After Borg Assimilation
*   <- Tribble     *^  <- Tribble Praying
*   <- Tribble     ,* <- Tribble peg-leg with cane
*   <- Tribble     [*] <- Tribble wearing headphones
*   <- Tribble     ^^ <- Viking Tribble
*   <- Tribble     *  <- Tribble Snorkelling
* YMBAT If you killed your dog testing your home-made transporter.
*'M ST*P*D - I'd like to buy a vowel, Pat, an "O" please.
***ď***     < Heavy-Weight Tribble Lifter.
*I* didn't do it, the *computer* did it!
*IT IS* documented, look under "For Internal Use Only."
*NOW* is a point in time that is already gone.
*_?!^%$#+\)#!~ = Klingon for "Hello, dear."
--T-A+G-L-I+N-E--+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+--G-A+U-G-E--
-> Today is cancelled due to lack of interest! <-
... Borg spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3
...and then a shout was heard from the Holodeck......"Fooooodfiiight!"
0 0 0 Destruct 0........ ^&#^_&$(@! NO SUB-SPACE CARRIER ....
0x2B || !0x2B   -Hamlet
1 + 2 = 3. Therefore 4 + 5 = 6.
10 9 8 7 {Bo Derek Getting older}
2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 lefts do...
24th century Political correctness... We are Borg.
43% of all statistics are totally worthless !!!
5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions.
5" floppy is not better than 3" hard.
90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
<BEEP> Insufficient Memory : Cannot load System Beep
<ERROR><ERROR><ERROR><ERROR><ERROR><ERROR>  {SMACK}  C:\>_
A .45 beats a royal flush EVERY TIME
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key!
A Penny earned is a Penny owed.
A Programmer Is Only As Good As His Units By Other Programmers!
A Q a day keeps the Borg away.    ......well, maybe not.
A RAM is a terrible thing to waste.
A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage.
A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn't eat the game.
A bad beginning makes for a good ending.
A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
A bargain is a bargain unless bought from a Ferengi.
A bargain: Something you have to find a use for once you've bought it.
A beard signifies lice, not brains.
A big enough hammer fixes anything.
A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
A boy becomes a man when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
A brain is worth little without a tongue.
A cat has nine lives, a Trill can have many more.
A cat's purr is the sound of it generating cute.
A centipede is an ant made to government specs.
A chain is no stronger than its weakest link.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
A choice is always possible, even without any options.
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience makes a good pillow.
A closed mind is like a sealed room - It's going to get awfully stuffy.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A desk is a wastebasket with drawers.
A diamond is just a lump of coal that made good under pressure.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
A farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus!
A fate worse than death: to be married alive.
A father is a banker provided by nature.
A fault recognized is half corrected.
A feature is a bug with seniority.
A fertile mind requires a lot of dirt.
A financer is a pawnbroker with imagination.
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
A fool and his money are my two favorite people.
A fool and his money is my kind of customer!
A fool and his money are soon parted.
A fool searches for a greater fool to find admiration.
A fool wants to be king.  A wise man wonders if he can handle the job.
A friend in need is a friend without Latinum.
A friend is someone who knows me and likes me anyway.
A full bladder is the best alarm clock in the world.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
A good dog barks when told.
A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
A good scare is better than good advice.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.
A hundred thousand lemmings can't all be wrong.
A hypocrite is one who sets good examples when he has an audience.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
A job is nice but it interferes with my life.
A joke never gains an enemy, but often loses a friend.
A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
A kind heart is of little value in chess.
A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
A lecture on time travel will be held yesterday.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A little each day is much in a year.
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
A little knowledge isn't enough.
A little knowledge is just that - little...
A little of everything is nothing in the main.
A little truth helps the lie go down.
A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.
A man may be young in years, yet old in hours.
A man once claimed nothing was true; but he was lying
A man should live forever, or die trying.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A man's brain is his Achilles' heel.
A man's house is his hassle.
A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.
A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A mother is not a dust rag.
A mountain is climbed a step at a time.
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices.
A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
A nose by any other name would smell.
A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
A nudist has no reason to fear a pickpocket.
A nut that is easy to crack is often empty.
A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure!
A paranoid is a guy who just figured out what's going on.
A path without obstacles probably leads nowhere.
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
A person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
A person without a navel lives within all of us.
A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.
A picture is worth a thousand words; a slide show is both.
A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
A poor excuse is better than no excuse at all.
A procrastinator's work is never done.
A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A quarrelsome man never lacks words.
A radical man: Someone with both feet planted firmly in the air.
A reasonable man accomplishes nothing.
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
A road map always tells you everything except how to refold it.
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
A second class effort is a first class mistake.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
A small good deed is better than the grandest intention.
A small leak will sink a great ship.
A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
A social life? What board can I download THAT from?
A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
A statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.
A stich in time saves nine, but does that include temporal anomolys?
A still tongue makes a wise head.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
A strip of Latinum for your thoughts.
A successful baseball player gets a hit only once out of every three tries.
A surprised Data is propositioned by the Enterprise's Computer.
A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
A ten-gallon hat really holds only three-fourths of a gallon.
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
A thing not looked for is seldom found.
A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A thing of shreds and zatches.
A timid man has little chance.
A tribble a day keeps the Klingons well fed.
A trouble shared is a trouble halved.
A true diplomat struts sitting down.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
A type II phaser beats four aces. -- Worf (on a bad poker night)
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
A want is a need with priority.
A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
A wise Ferengi changes his mind. A fool never will.
A wise man once said.... I don't know...
A wise man has something to say, a fool has to say something.
A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools.
A wise man changes his mind, a fool never.
A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
A woman's work is never done.
A womans work is never done, and a Bajorans doubly so.
A wonder last but nine days, but Ferengi's are quick salesmen.
A yawn is a silent shout.
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse
ADMIN - An Essential Information Resource
AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.
ALERT! ALERT! No, wait! It's TWO lerts!
ALL-PURPOSE EXCUSE:It seemed like a good idea at the time
ASTROLOGY LAW: It's always the wrong time of the month.
About as useful as an Ashtray on a Motorbike !
Absence makes the heart go wander.
Absence of Evidence is not Evidence of Absence
Abstain from wine, women and song. Mostly song.
Abstinence is a good thing if practiced in moderation!!!
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.
Accelerate Windows - drop the disks into a Black Hole.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
Acid Rain - Not as groovey as it sounds.
Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
Actions speak louder than words -- but not so often.
Actions speak louder than words & Bajorans don't bother with smalltalk.
Activity is the politician's substitute for achievement.
Actually, there IS a banana in my pocket...
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
Admonish your friends privately, but praise them openly.
Adolescence: the stage between puberty and adultery.
Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents.
Adult:  One old enough to know better.
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
Advertisement: the most truthful part of a newspaper.
Advertising raises the standard of living by raising the standard of longing.
Advice is easier than helping.
Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.
Advice: 5 And Worth Every Penny!
Advice: Something we test out on others to see if it really works.
Aern't spill chukkers grate?
After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
After dinner rest a while, after supper walk a mile.
After four decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
After the storm comes a calm.
After we pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend!
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
Age isn't important unless you're a cheese.
Ah well, they say it's not as bad as they say it is......
Alimony is having to say you're sorry once a month.
All I ask for is an opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
All I did was press E-N-T-E-R, like the screen said!?!?
All Voles are grey in the dark.
All answers questioned here.
All computers wait at the same speed.
All for one; one for all; ME above all!
All for one; more for me!
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All humans things are subject to decay.
All men are created equal. It sticks out more on some.
All men can't be masters, and neither can they be Cardassian.
All my good tag lines are on my other computer.
All people smile in the same language.
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
All progress stems from change but all change is not necessarily progress.
All reality is aspect dependent.
All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance.
All right who's been cooking hot dogs in the Warp Drive?
All right, set phasers to deep fat fry!
All rising to a great place is by a winding stair.
All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
All software expands to take the space available.
All space routes lead to Bajor.
All stressed out and no one to choke.....
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the easy problems have been solved.
All the wit in the world is not in one head.
All the world's a stage, but most of us are stage hands.
All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
All things come to those who wait.
All things come to those who wait, even Latinum.
All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare.
All things change, nothing is extinguished.
All things are difficult before they are easy.
All things is made of the same thing: nothing
All this significance - what does it mean?
All true wisdom is found in taglines.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
All you need is ignorance and confidence... success will follow.
All your future lies beneath your hat.
All's fair in love & war and weekly profit margins.
Almost all loan officers have artificial hearts.
Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
Almost perfect... but not quite.
Alright, who's been cooking hot dogs in the warp nacelles?
Although up to its neck in hot water, the tea kettle continues to sing.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Always hold your head up but keep your nose at a friendly level.
Always listen to experts tell you why it can't be done, then do it.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always prefer the probable impossible to the impossible probable.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
Always remove the last screw first.
Always use tasteful words.  You may have to eat them.
Always willing to share my ignorance...
Ambition destroys its possessor.
America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
Amiga multitasking - Can act as a paper weight AND a door stop.
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
An accordian: A bagpipe with pleats.
An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...  if it is aimed well.
An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
An authority knows lots of things you don't care about.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
An expert has a great reason for guessing wrong.
An expert is someone from out of town.
An improper mind is a perpetual feast.
An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
An object of information most needed will be least available.
An open mind doesn't always require an open mouth
An optimist laughs to forget..A pessimist forgets to laugh.
An optimist is a guy without much experience...
An optimist is a person without much experience.
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
An unbreakable toy is excellent for breaking other toys.
And Adam asked, "What's a headache?"
And God said: E = mv - Ze/r ...and there *WAS* light!
And all the children are above average in our system.
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two.
And now for something completely different...
And now, a word from our sponsor...
And that is what I think... nyeh nyeh nyeh!
And the Dollar is holding steady at 100 cents.
And then Adam said, "What's a headache?"
And this, Wesley, is an airlock.
Anger and haste hinder good counsel.
Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.
Anger is never without reason, but seldom with a good one.
Anger is not the same as frustration, But Anger is caused by it.
Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
Another proud wearer of white walk socks.
Another smooth escape disguised as a dramatic exit.
Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.
Antenna coupling: insect foreplay.
Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Any sufficiently advanced bug will become a feature.
Any wire cut to specified length will be too short.
Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
Anybody can be born right-handed. Only the best of us overcome it.
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
Anyone want a burger? It has cheese on both sides!
Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.
Anything is good if it is made from chocolate.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Anything that can go wrong will.
Anything we learn today may be disproven tomorrow.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
Apathists of the world ..... ahh, forget it!
Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key.
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
Appreciate me now - and avoid the rush.
Archaeologists take sedimental journeys.
Archaeologists will date any old thing.
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Are Girl Scout Cookies made from real Girl Scouts?
Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?
Are the noises in my head bothering you?
Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
Are you afraid of the night?
Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?
Are you sure (Y/Y)?
Are you waiting for your prey?
Aren't spill chukkers grate.
Armadillo: To provide weapons to a Spanish Pickle.
Army food: the spoils of war.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Arrogance is the obstruction of wisdom.
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
Art is I; Science is We.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Art is vision not expression.
Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
As scarce as the truth is, the supply is much greater than the demand.
As the gardiner so is the garden.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
Assassins Do It Secretively, and Finally.
Assume the worst, you'll never be disappointed.
Assumption is the mother of all screwups.
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
Astronauts are out to launch.
Astronauts get missile-toe.
At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go into the same bag.
At the tone, leave a message to Q & he will harass you when he has time.
At what point in the dairy process is the Milk Dud made
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Avoid criticism - say, do and be nothing.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Avoid the 5 o'clock rush - always leave work at noon.
BBS 'till you drop - carrier
BBS addiction is a terminal disease.
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
BEER...  Drink your daily B-complex with a foamy head.
BOING! ASCII stupid question; get a stupid ANSI.
BRAIN.COM file closed. (A)rgue (R)etry (F)orget It
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other!
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (S)lap nearest innocent bystander.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Bacon & eggs - Hens are involved but pigs are commited.
Bacteria, n.: the only culture some people have.
Bad Case #12: Nostalgia buff with amnesia.
Bad Latinum sometimes comes back.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad dog! Don't chew the power cor..!# NO TERRIER
Bad luck is being run over by the welcome wagon.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.
Bajoran phasers - because it's better to be sure than sorry.
Bald spot? No -- solar panel for brain power.
Barfigngen: Car Sickness in a Volkswagen.
Basic Airline Flying-Keep the pointy end forward..
Bathroom scale: Something you stand on and swear at.
Be Alert! - the world needs more Lerts.
Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door.
Be as you would seem to be.
Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
Be consistent - but don't do it all the time.
Be good to your environment -- purge your tree.
Be kind. Remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Be nice on your way up, you'll meet on the way down.
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
Be part of the solution, not part of the pollution.
Be slow of Giving advice, ready to do a service.
Be sure the brain is engaged before putting the mouth in gear.
Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers.
Be there a will and wisdom finds a way.
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
Beam me up Scotty. This isn't the men's room.
Beaten paths are for beaten men.
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Beauty is but skin deep, but what of Cardassians?
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone...
Beauty without virtue is a curse.
Beauty without grace is a violet without scent.
Because, unlike =some= Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent
Become a millionaire, send $1.00 for details...
Become a programmer and never see the world!!!
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been there, done that, the T-shirt cost too much.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash....
Beer's Law - you get drunk if you drink too much beer.
Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore!
Before advising "Be yourself!" reassess his character.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which one you need more.
Before something goes wrong, there's always someone who knew it would.
Before you meet any handsome price, you have to kiss a lot of toads.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Best to bend it while it's a twig.
Beta Testers do it first!
Beta version - too buggy to be released.
Better a bird in the hand than one overhead.
Better be safe than sorry.
Better late than never.
Better or worse, but never the same.
Better than counting your years is making all your years count.
Better the devil you know than the Ferengi you don't.
Better the foot slip than the tongue.
Better to face a danger once than be always in fear.
Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Beverly can turn Data off but only Tasha can turn him on
Beverly, Tasha and Deanna: A Menag a Trois?
Beware of Klingons bearing gifts.
Beware of a half truth; you may be getting the wrong half.
Beware of a new virus:'MICROSOFT WINDOWS'. Slows a 486 down to a XT
Beware of dark rooms ... They might be the morgue.
Beware of little expenses. A small leak can sink a ship.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware the wise man giving Latinum.
Beware the low flying butterfly.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
Bigamy: Too many wives. Monogamy: Same thing.
Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: see Bigamy.
Bioengineers wear designer genes.
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
Biology grows on you.
Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
Bit :  The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.
Black holes suck!
Blam! Blam! Click..Click.. um.. "Stop, Police!" - only in Victoria!
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
Blonde Klingons: because it was a good day to dye.
Blood is thicker than water.  Tastier and more nutritious too.
Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
Bohr Theory - the result of long chemistry lectures.
Boldly going Forward because we can't find Reverse!
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Bones, I hate your #@!*% human guts. Discussion?
Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
Bosses are so busy delegating jobs, they have no time to work.
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Bother, said Pooh, as Q destroyed the universe.
Bought some powdered water..not sure what to add, though.
Boy Am I Tired! It Must Be The NET-LAG!
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Boycott meat - suck your thumb.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
Boyle's Law - if you heat water high enough it will boil
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Bragg Equation - he made an equation so he could brag
Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some.
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Bride: a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Bring Windows to it's knees:  Start an application
Bring order to your life, use random numbers.
Brought to you by the letters O & S and by the number 2.
Budget: an orderly system of living beyond your means.
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
Build something foolproof and every fool will use it.
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste.
Bureaucrats cut red tape... lengthwise!
Bureaucrats are the meat loaf of humanity.
Burroughs programmers have to pay a Poll tax.
Bush / Quayle   ERROR: Division by zero.
But once you are real, you can't become unreal again.
But what if I'm a figment of MY imagination?
Buy in haste, repair at leisure.
Buy one, get one free? Does it have to be in that order?
By the time you get to where you can make ends meet, someone moves the ends.
By the time a man reads women like a book he's too old to collect a library.
By trying we can learn to endure another's adversity.
C Programmers do it with models!
C program run.  C program crash.  C programmer quit.
C:\DOS  C:\DOS\RUN  C:\DOS\RUN\WINDOWS  C:\DOS\RUN\SLOW.
C:\PROGRAM\RUN RUN\PROGRAM\RUN AW\COMEON\PROGRAM\RUN!
CAUTION: Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Eye.
CAUTION: Do not install prior to installation.
CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
CHOCOLATE: The other major food group.
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
COLDBEER.CAN not found! Operator HALTED!
COLE's LAW - Thinly sliced cabbage.
COM program murdered. "Bits everywhere" says witness.
COMMAND.com will not respond...System Query: promote Lt.Cmdr.com?
CONSULTANT: Person who makes good on salesman's promises!
CURSOR: What you become when your system crashes.
Calm down! It's only zeros and ones.
Can anyone remember when times weren't hard and money wasn't scarce?
Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
Captain's Log:  Same stuff.  Different sector.
Captain, I beleive it is time for a colorful metaphor.
Captain, please,  Not in front of the Klingons.
Captain, we have attained ridiculous speed. * Data
Captains Log Stardate 45643.2 - "Got up. Had some tea. Went to bed"
Careful planning will never replace dumb luck.
Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Cat bathing is a martial art.
Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse?
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Caution:  Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Celery farmers play the stalk market.
Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Censor - a man who knows more than he thinks you should.
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
Character is not made in a crisis - it is only exhibited.
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Cheap is dear in the long run.
Cheerfulness smoothes the road of life.
Chef: A cook who swears in French.
Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.
Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
Cheops' Law:  Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Chicken - the egg's way of making more eggs.
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
Childish game: one at which your spouse beats you.
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it.
Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
Civil servants are neither civil nor servile.
Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
Civilization is a race between education and catastrophe.
Clean mind or clean body?  Take your pick!
Cleanliness is... In the bathroom cabinet.
Cleanliness is next to "clean-limbed," in the dictionary.
Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son.
Cleverness is serviceable for everything but sufficient for nothing.
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
Clones are people two.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Closed Captioned in HEX for Programmers.
Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence on society.
Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.
Coffee not found -- Programmer Halted!
Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
Collision Theory - if you crash, the bigger car will win
Color is only a pigment of your imagination.
Columbus had a fourth ship - it sailed over the edge.
Come in, Beverly, and I'll show you a real Picard maneuver.
Commander Data just installed doublespace, Now he remembers twice as much.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
Common sense is the least common of all senses.
Common sense isn't.
Communication.. without it, everyone's a mushroom.
Communism is like one big phone company.
Comp Scis have bigger hard disks.
Compassion is the basis of all morality.
Compile, run, curse. Recompile, rerun, recurse.
Compiling...Linking...Dialing Copyright Lawyer...
Complaints? Write them here legibly [] <-
Computer Engineers do it bit by bit.
Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
Computer, microwave decks 5-10 until piping hot.  BEEP!
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers don't make mistakes, but foolish people do.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Conceit is a pain killer for stupidity.....
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
Confucious say: Man who stand on toilet is high on Pot.
Confucius say, Don't quote me with stupid accent.
Consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Constant change is here to stay.
Constants aren't; variables don't.
Content is health to the sick and riches to the poor.
Contentment comes of the heart, not of the house.
Contents may have settled out of court.
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Cooperation is doing with a smile that which you have to do anyway.
Copy from another: plagiarism. Copy from many: research.
Could you be a little more vague, counselor?
Could you state that as a question, please?
Counselor, can I, uh, use your com-badge?  Riker
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal, if you are all thumbs.
Courage is fear that said its prayers.
Courtesy distinguishes humans from animals.
Courtesy on one side can never last long.
Cow's breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
Cream rises to the top... but then so does scum.
Creditor: A man who has a longer memory than a debtor.
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Crime wouldn't pay if it was run by the Government
Criminal: One who gets caught.
Crusoe got everything done by Friday. Can you?
Crystal balls aren't really very productive.
Cultivate happiness and it becomes a habit.
Cunnilingus is a real tongue twister!
Curiosity didn't kill the cat, I got him with the mower!
Curiosity kills more mice than cats.
Curious how naked death is less obscene than naked women.
Custom is the law of fools.
Cut life support to all quarters with children. * Picard
Cut my pizza into six pieces please. I can't eat eight.
Cut your coat according to your cloth.
Cutting remarks don't cut any ice.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Cynicism is but idealism gone sour in the face of frustration.
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.
DANGER! Human at keyboard!
DATA COMPRESSION: What you get when you squish an android.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
DEBUG - Takes bugs off the windshield with minimum fuss.
DEFINITION: FORTRAN- Formless Translations.
DEFINITION: Backup - Opposite of forward.
DEFINITION: Password- The nonsense word taped to the CRT.
DEFINITION: Forth - One of the top five computer languages.
DEFINITION: Address - Type of attire worn by some female programmers.
DEFINITION: Initialize - Carving your initials on a floppy disk.
DEFINITION: Math Chip- A piece of a broken abacus.
DEFINITION: Branch - A stick used for beating.
DEFINITION: Microfiche - Sardines.
DEFINITION: Core Storage - A receptacle for the center section of apples.
DEFINITION: Mhz- Acronym for 'Megahurtz', meaning 'a million pains'.
DEFINITION: External Storage - A wastebasket.
DEFINITION: GiGo - Garbage in garbage out.
DEFINITION: Cpu - C3po's mother.
DEFINITION: Input - Food, beverages, painkillers, stimulants, etc.
DEFINITION: BASIC- Beginner's All-purpose Sloppy Instruction Code.
DEFINITION: Upgrade - Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
DEFINITION: Macro - The last half of an expression of surprise: "Holy Macro".
DEFINITION: Disk Drive - A motor for a frisbee.
DEFINITION: COBOL- Confused Oriental Bean-cOunting Language.
DEFINITION: Buffer - A programmer who works in the nude.
DEFINITION: Memory Map - A sheet of paper showing location of computer store.
DEFINITION: Joystick- A peripheral intended for use only by consenting adults.
DEFINITION: Altair - A place where computers are sacrificed.
DEFINITION: Disassembler - An unattended five year old child.
DEFINITION: Coding - An addictive drug.
DEFINITION: Language- A system of organizing and defining syntax errors.
DEFINITION: Iterate- A healthy illiterate.
DEFINITION: Array - A blast from a CRT.
DEFINITION: Dip - Inventor of a famous switch.
DEFINITION: Megabyte- A nine course dinner.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
DISK ERROR: Please remove pizza from A:
DONTREADTHISUNLESSYOUWANTTOWEARGLASSESOK
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
DS9:  To boldly stay put where no one has stayed put before.
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this disk?
Damned if I do.  Damned if I don't.  Damn it, I will!
Dan Quayle's library burned...both books destroyed.
Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
Danger! Human at keyboard!
Dangerous exercise - jumping to conclusions.
Data convinces the Pepsi machine that Coke is better!
Data was very angry with me after I lost his emotion chip.
Dawn: the time when men of reason go to bed.
Dead Cardassians tell no tales.
Death MAY ease tension, researchers report.
Death can be fatal!
Death doesn't pay debts.
Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
Debug: De ting killed wid de pressure spray.
Deeds are males and words are females, but not with Bajorans.
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.
Demons are a ghouls best friend.
Despair: an extra tire in de trunk.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
Didn't see it, don't have the T-shirt. --M. Hahn
Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.
Difference between a virus & windows?  Viruses actually get something done.
Difference between a house and a home - a family.
Difference between tax avoiding and evasion is 10 Years.
Difficult solutions to easy problems are in the minds of Computer Programmers.
Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts.
Din't mean to?! You put your sword right thru his head!
Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Dinner not ready, (A)bort (R)etry (C)all out for Pizza?
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Discover all unpredictable errors before they occur.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Disk error: (A)bort (R)etry (N)egotiate release of disk?
DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.
Divorced Barbie doll -- she comes with all of Ken's accessories.
Do HD's sneeze when they catch a virus?
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some found I wish I could lose.
Do device drivers need a chauffeur's license?
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
Do it today, tomorrow it will be bad for your health or illegal.
Do not adjust your mind, the fault is with reality.
Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps...
Do not believe in miracles - rely upon them.
Do not curse the darkness, check your warranty.
Do not disturb -- I'm disturbed enough already.
Do not in an instant what an age cannot recompense.
Do not meet troubles half-way.
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do unto others JUST BEFORE they do unto you!
Do unto others as they should do unto you but won't.
Do unto others before they undo you.
Do unto others as though you were the other.
Do unto others such that they cannot do unto you.
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Do well, you hear it never. Do ill, hear it forever.
Do you always hit the nail right on the thumb?
Do you like me for my brain or my baud?
Do your knees buckle, but not your belt?
Documentation - The worst part of programming.
Does "Bad FAT" mean disk has high cholesterol?
Does "Forsaking All Others" mean I can't date?
Does anybody really read these things?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Does it really matter which cola I drink?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Does steel wool come from metal sheep?
Does the Enterprise printer use a Queue Continuum?
Does your back go out more than you do?
Doesn't EVERYBODY wear straightjackets?
Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
Doing nothing makes you tired 'cause you can't take a break.
Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
Don't Start Any Trouble, And There Won't Be Any!
Don't advertise: Tell it to a gossip.
Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Don't be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
Don't be mad about growing old, some aren't that lucky.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Don't believe anything you hear or anything you say.
Don't count your upgrades before they're patched!
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Don't ever stand up to be counted or someone will take your seat.
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon.
Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Don't just do something, stand there!
Don't know what apathy is and don't care....
Don't let school interfere with your education.
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it!
Don't put all your EXE's in one backup!
Don't question authority..... It hasn't got a clue!!!!!
Don't quit until you find someone to blame.
Don't start with me. You know how I get.
Don't steal! The government hates the competition.
Don't steal.....Politicians hate competition.
Don't take life too seriously, it's not permanent.
Don't take life too seriously, you'll NEVER get out alive
Don't talk to me until I've had my second cup of coffee
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
Don't touch it! It's the history eraser button you fool!
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't vote. It incourages them!
Don't wait for the translation...answer me now! Gen.Chang
Don't walk through the screen door, you might strain yourself.
Don't waste the whole day, laugh at least once.
Don't wear earmuffs in a land of rattlesnakes.
Don't worry: the answer's at the back of the book.
Don't worry, we can use the transporter.
Don't you just hate it when they verbify nouns?
Double your hard drive space with DOS6: Just type DELTREE C:\WINDOWS <
Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
Down with categorial imperatives.
Dragonslayer needed. Immediate position available.
Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Drink like a fish - Water only.
Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where...
Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream?
Drive carefully, death is so permanent.
Drive defensively -- buy a tank.
Drive nail here [  ] for new monitor.
Drive not ready: Abort, Retry, Fail, Wait?
Driving Lesson One: Shiny side up; rubber side down.
Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.
Drop your CARRIER - we have got you surrounded!!!
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
Drunk Borg: "Rsilience in floor tile. Wan'be similated?"
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
Due to Budget Constraints light at end of tunnel is off!
Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now everywhere.
E=mc^2 Very good, Albert. Next time show your work.
EAGLES May Soar, But Weasles Arn't Sucked Into Jets.
EDLIN doesn't have a bug...EDLIN _IS_ a bug.
EGGORY (eg' er ee) n. The part of the fridge that holds the eggs.
ENERGIZE, said Picard, and a pink bunny appeared.
ERROR 6F35: Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue.
ET; phone home. (9368428709:6448/31299.874)
Each day the world turns over on someone who was just sitting on top of it.
Each day we are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
Each new year brings better and brighter expectations.
Eagles fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early to bed - makes you healthy, wealthy and boring.
Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.
Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail your friends.
Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
Earth was not earth before her sons appeared.
Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust....
Eat well, exercise, and die anyway.
Eat yogurt and get culture.
Eating an anchovy is like eating an eyebrow.
Ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo ...
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
Edit, Save, Exit, Assemble, Link, Run, Curse, [Ctrl+Alt+Del], Edit...
Editing is a rewording activity.
Education means developing the mind, not stuffing the memory.
Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
Efficiency is the ability to do a job well plus the desire to do it better.
Ego: Something which enables people to bear living with themselves.
Egotist: a person of low taste. more interested in himself than me.
Eight out of five schizophrenics agree!
Einstein has "I before E" wrong in his own name, twice!
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Electric chairs are period furniture; they end a sentence.
Electrical Engineers do it till it Hz.
Electricians are qualified to remove anyone's shorts!
Electrolosis - the process of getting shocked
Employment brings enjoyment.
Empty vessels make the most sound.
Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
Engineers do it precisely. Technicians do it a lot.
Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Ensign Singer... Make it sew.
Ensign, engage warp drive. Ensign? ENSIGN, WAKE UP!
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Equality is a myth - women are better!
Error - [A]bort, [R]etry, [F]ake like it's working...
Error 005: Windows loading. Come back tomorrow.
Error 99 - CPU too tired to continue...
Error failed! Press any key to resume error.
Error finding REALITY.SYS  -  Universe halted.
Error reading FAT Table...Try Skinny one ? (Y/N)
Error: (A)bort (R)etry (S)ell it
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
Evangelists do more than lay people.
Even a noseless dog can stink.
Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.
Even paranoids have enemies.
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
Even the blind can see money.
Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
Ever feel like you're not really wanted? * Geordi
Ever feel like the whole world is a cigarette and you're the only ashtray.
Ever just seem to not be able to get around to procrastinating?
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Ever notice that Legos aren't biodegradable ?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Ever think about the fact that thorn bushes have roses?
Ever wish you had a copy of tomorrow's newspaper?
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
EverReady bunny arrested, charged with battery!
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Every dark cloud has a Latinum lining.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Every little picofarad has a nanohenery of it's own.
Every man has a scheme that absolutely won't work.
Every man has his price.
Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
Every man thinks his own burden the heaviest.
Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
Every silver lining has a dark cloud.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every time I lose weight, it finds me again.
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Every why hath a wherefore.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everyman has his faults. Ferengi's doubly so.
Everyone IS entitled to my opinion.
Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
Everyone has the right to be ugly, but some abuse the priviledge.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have any film.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Everyone is entitled to their own version of my opinion.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is good at something, it's just a matter of finding what.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion, just ask me...
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Everyone needs a place in the sun, especially when it rains.
Everyone serves a purpose in life, even if it is to be a horrible example.
Everything going good? You must have overlooked something.
Everything hurts ... and what doesn't don't work.
Everything changes except change itself.
Everything coming your way? You're in the wrong lane!
Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
Everything alive either grows or dies.
Everything goes on sale ... right after you buy it.
Everything's got a moral if only you can find it.
Everytime I think I know where it's at, they shift it!
Everywhere is walking distance, if you have the time.
Evil is a hill.  We stand on ours, speak about others.
Examine the contents, not the bottle.
Excellent time become a missing person.
Excuse me, I have to recharge my flamethrower.
Executive: An ulcer with authority.
Experience is something you don't get, 'til you need it most.
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
Experience is the comb life gives you after you're bald.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Experience should be a guide post, but not a hitching post.
Experience varies directly with the amount of equipment ruined.
Expert - anyone from out of town.
Expert - knows tomorrow why today's prediction failed.
Explain counter-clockwise to someone with a digital watch.
Extrusion,  Science,  Art, and  luck
F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng
F u cn rd ths u mst b n nglsh tchr!
FACT: A conservative will blink when struck with a hammer
FILES=1  BUFFERS=0  FCBS=SAYWHAT  BREAK=GIMME
FOR SALE: Won used spel chekkr, werks grate!
Fact - red lights always last longer than green ones.
Facts are stubborn things.
Failure is never fatal and success is never final.
Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
Faith is the bird that sings while it is still dark.
False friends are worse that open enemies.
Fame is a magnifying glass.
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
Familiarity breeds consent.
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Famous Last Words #04:  "It's perfectly safe.  Let me show you."
Famous last words: "Hiyah, Captain BALDY!"
Fat heads, lean brains.
Fate Protects fools, children and ships named Enterprise.
Faults are thick where love is thin.
Fear kills more than the physician.
Fear not, for I have given you authority.
Fear: when you see B8 00 4C CD 21 and you know what it means.
Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
Feel lucky???? Update your software!
Feeling Good? Don't worry; you'll get over it!
Fellow with closed mind often has open mouth.
Females are nice to look at but Latinum is nicer.
Feminist bookstores have no humor section.
Few can stand prosperity... another's that is.
Few of us can stand prosperity -- someone else's.
Few problems cannot be solved by proper application of high explosives.
Fiction: It can't hold a scandal to biography.
File not found: Loading something that looked similar.
File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.
File not found. Delete *.* and change directory? (Y/N)
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Find me a one-armed economist so we'll not always hear "On the other hand".
Find out how many friends you have... rent a beach villa.
Fine = Tax for doing wrong. Tax = Fine for doing fine.
Fire at will, Not at Will!
Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
First impressions are the most lasting.
First they take your money, then your clothes.
Fish and guests smell in three days.
Fish are so hard to toilet train.
Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
Flattery is the sincerest form of lying.
Flattery is all right as long as you don't inhale.
Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
Floggings will continue until morale improves!
Follow the wise few rather than the vulgar many.
Fools build houses. Wise Ferengi buy them.
For Sale: Dehydrated HO - $14 per quart
For a REAL sponge cake, BORROW all the ingredients.
For every action, there's a = govt. agency.
For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision
For the moment. This baby's working. * O'Brien
For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
Fore-think, though you cannot fore-tell.
Forget Others' faults by remembering your own.
Forget PRIME DIRECTIVES! Give the BORG Windows!
Forget RTFM - Call The Author At Home!
Forget everything, as one day everything will forget you.
Forget patience! I'm gonna kill something...
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.
Fortinlee, I downt nead a spel checkr.
Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean.
Four Food Groups: Beer, Chips, Chocolate, Pretzels.
Four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant & Microwavable.
Four out five people think the fifth is an idiot.
Free advice is seldom cheap.....and even moreso when from a Ferengi.
Freedom is doing what you like, happiness liking what you do.
Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
Friction is a drag.
Friday means two more working days 'til Monday.
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Friends Come And Go, But Relatives Never Leave.....
Friends are people you can be quiet with.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
Frisbyterian: when you die, your soul goes up on the roof.
Frog philosophy: Time's fun when you're having flies!
From listening comes wisdom; from speaking, repentance.
From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
Fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the modem away ...
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Gaffa tape is like the force: It has a light side and a dark side.
Gain gotten by a lie will burn one's fingers.
Gambling: a way of getting nothing for something.
Gene Police: YOU! Out of the pool.
Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn't.
Genealogy: Tracing us back to the same brother and sister.
General failure reading drive A: Please remove your fist.
Genius is 10 percent inspiration and 50 percent capital gains.
Genius is 1 inspiration and 99 perspiration.
Genius starts at the top and works up.
Genius: One who tries to convince people *they* are correct.
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Gentleman: one who can play bagpipes but chooses not to.
Gentlemen's agreements can get very ungentlemanly.
Geometry: what the acorn said after it grew up.
Get even...With the people that have helped you.
Get money first, virtue comes afterward.
Get out of my way, and keep quiet. * Picard
Get stoned! Drink wet cement!
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please.
Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
Girls seldom show dimples to boys who have pimples.
Give a speculator an inch and he'll build a condo.
Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler!
Give me all the luxuries of life & I can dispense with the necessities.
Give them all they want, and all they will want is more.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
Go ahead, jump. 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
Go straight to the docs.  Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200!
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Golfer: A person who hits and tells.
Gone crazy; be back later; leave message.
Good advice is something you give when you're too old to set a bad example.
Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness the poison.
Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.
Good management is the art of getting other people to do all the work.
Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Good taste is the flower of good sense.
Good will is a weapon against which there is no defense.
Good wine ruins the purse and bad wine ruins the stomach.
Good words cost nothing, but they don't make a profit.
Good words cost no more than bad.
Got Kleptomania? Take something for it!
Got Mole problem? Call Avogadro at 6.02 X 10^23.
Got a DEATH WISH? Join STARFLEET SECURITY today!
Got run, my cat got stuck in the printer...
Graduate of the Darth Vader School of Personnel Management.
Grafitti have changed deface of the nation.
Graham's Law - graham crackers are good for making laws
Grape nuts? I didn't know grapes had nuts.
Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
Gravity brings me down.
Gravity is a myth -- the Earth sucks.
Great hopes make great men.
Great men are not always wise.
Great minds discuss ideas; small ones, people.
Greed captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.
Greed is good, greed works.
Ground water? Do you mean crushed ice?
Grow angry slowly; there's plenty of time.
Grow your own Dope - Plant a Politician.
Growing old is mandatory.   Growing up is optional...
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Guess what I made for dinner?  Reservations!
H y! Wh r  did my " " k y go?
HHeellpp!!    II''mm  ssttuucckk  iinn  hhaallff  dduupplleexx!!
Half heart is no heart.
Hams do it with greater frequency!!!
Handle yourself with your head, handle others with your heart.
Hanging stops repeat offenders!
Happiness is an imaginary condition.
Happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder.
Happiness is wanting what you have.
Happiness is having ALL Star Trek shows on videotape!
Happiness is no laughing matter.
Happiness is a hard disk.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Happiness takes no account of time.
Hard Work never killed anyone, so why chance it?
Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off now.
Hardware Independent: Won't work on ANY hardware!
Hardware: the part you kick.
Hasten to laugh at everything lest you be obliged to weep.
Have a nice day - unless you've made other plans.
Have a nice day - void where prohibited.
Have we learned _from_ our past, or merely _about_ it?
Have you hugged an electric fence today?
Have you sucked a crawfish head lately?
Have you tried on your smile today?
Having a good memory is useless unless you have something good to remember.
He bears misery that hides it most.
He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
He has too many lice to feel an itch.
He is a fool who cannot be angry, but he is a wise man who will not.
He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
He is a sheep in sheep's clothing.
He is almost a statesman. He lies well.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
He keeps differentiating.... flying off on a tangent.
He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
He lives long that lives until all are weary of him.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He that hunts down two hares will catch neither.
He that knows little soon repeats it.
He was a self made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
He who avoids the temptation avoids the sin.
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He who hesitates is last.
He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist.
He who is most concerned is always the last to hear.
He who is too scared to throw the dice will never throw six.
He who knows all the answers never gets asked the questions.
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
He who laughs last is probably your boss.
He who laughs... lasts.
He who loses his head is usually the last one to miss it.
He who mistrusts most should be trusted least!
He who never sticks out neck, never wins by nose.
He who puts his nose to the grindstone gets a bloody nose.
He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a bloody fool.
He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to get ashes.
He who slings mud looses ground.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
He who spares the guilty threatens the innocent.
He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
He who tells you how great he is usually isn't.
He wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head
He's ALIVE, Jim. Where did I go wrong?
He's Dead Jim, thats 10 this week already.
He's Dead Jim. Get His Phaser, I Got His Wallet.
He's asking to have this VISOR shoved someplace.  Geordi
He's got a watch with a minute hand, millennium hand, and an eon hand.
He's got less brains than a woodpecker on an aluminum telephone pole!
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Health is not valued until sickness comes.
Hello, I am part number ޺۳ݳ
Help fight truth decay.
Help you out? Certainly! Which way did you come in?
Help!  I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe.
Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!
Help.  I'm trapped at 0D1C:01DA.
Here I sit, in a tizzy - all my favorite boards are busy.
Here today, dawn tomorrow.
Hey, whats that beeping noise? Wheres that smoke coming from?
Hey, where do I get my Tourist shooting license?
Hi.  My name is Rover, I'll paint your car yellow free.
Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Hippie: One that leaves no turn unstoned.
Hire teen-agers while they still know everything.
His face was filled with broken commandments.
His fork only has one tong.
Historian: person with extra-century perception.
Historians prophesy about the past.
History repeats itself because nobody listens
History: An illusion caused by the passage of time.
Hit any user to continue.
Hjrad's Law: For every action, there is an extreme and unwarranted revenge.
Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
Hold still, this won't hurt me a bit.
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Home cooking is the greatest thing in the world!
Home is the nicest place you will ever go.
HomerDOS error: Abort, Retry, D'Ohh!
Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
Honestly, the new modem's working just fi{Œ
Honesty is exact to a cent.
Honesty is almost always the best policy.
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Hoooow much is that Blooonde in the window!?
Hope is sweeter than possession.
Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on people.
Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
Hot dogs are best when served with a ballgame.
Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
Houseguests, like fish, stink after the third day.
How about a helicopter with an ejection seat?
How blind are those who refuse to see?
How can you avoid hurting someones feelings without being a liar?
How can you tell if a man is lying? His lips move!
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
How do I set my Laser Printer to "Stun"?
How do you double the value of a Pinto? Fill the tank.
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How do you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
How long befor it happens here?
How many times do you need to be tolled anyway?
How much memory have you got?  One brain, one memory.
How time flies, when you are in a heap of problems..
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
How you look depends a lot on where you go.
How you look depends on where you go.
Howmanycharactersdoyouthinkyoucanfitintoonetaglineanyway?
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
Hugh Hefner is a virgin.
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Humble hearts have humble minds and they don't make good customers.
Humorists...Those who can talk sensibly about a controversy.
Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
Hungry men think the cook lazy.
Hydrogen and Stupidity - the two most common elements.
Hydrogen bombs make great party gags!
Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.
I I have seen the future and it works!
I added water, the oatmeal still tastes odd.... Oh, _HOT_ water!
I ain't a good spellir but I gots good grammers!!
I am Al of Borg. Aww, Peg, I assimilated you last year..
I am Borg ޺۳ݳݳ, who are you?
I am Burns of Borg. Smithers! Assimilate them!
I am Demtel of Borg. You will be assimilated...but WAIT! There's MORE!
I am Homer of Borg, prepare to ... ooohhh DOOONUTS!
I am Jordan of Borg. Gravity is irrelevant.
I am Keating of Borg. This is the assimilation we had to have.
I am Ohm of Borg.  Resistance is relevant.
I am Pentium of Borg.  Prepare to be approximated.
I am Ricki Lake of Borg. So, why did you assimilate your ex-boyfriend?
I am Shakespeare of Borg. Prepare to be, or not to be.
I am an optimistic pessimist.
I am calling from the Bermuda Tria{{{d~~{{{J~  NO CARRIER
I am free of prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I am free of all prejudice.. I hate everyone equally.
I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
I am not a dictator.  It's just I have a grumpy face.
I am not an animal!  I am ... well, not an animal.
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
I am not discriminatory, I hate everyone equally
I am their leader, which way did they go?
I am... Kirk... of Borg.  My... acting... is futile.
I bang my head against the wall cos it feels good when I stop.
I be nibble, you be quick, he jumped over the Joystick.
I believe in free will - I have no choice!
I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!
I can't be stupid, I completed third grade!
I can't believe it. I've heard of this disease.  Beverly
I can't remember the last time I forgot something.
I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your HORN louder.
I despise the pleasure of despising people whom I despise.
I didn't mean to blow up the Academy - Wesley
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
I don't GET headaches, I GIVE them!
I don't have a solution but I really admire the problem.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don't know what I like, but I know what art is.
I don't make much sense because the rest of the world doesn't either.
I don't want it now, I want it RIGHT now!
I doublespaced my cat and now it sleeps 48 hours a day.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
I figure that my psychic should know when to call me.
I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it.
I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
I fought the lawn and the lawn won.
I grow old, I grow old... I wear the bottom of my trousers rolled.
I had a dislocated funny bone, <OUCH> but it's better now
I had a life once... Now I have a computer.
I had one just like it.... only different.
I hate making predictions; especially about the future!
I have a dream:  DIR C: 965,465,065,464,984,030,373,436 bytes free...
I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it...
I have a really good memory, except it's short.
I have decided to devote my entire career to looking for a career.
I have one nerve left and you're getting on it...
I have seen the future and it is now the past.
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
I know karate, kung-fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
I know so little, but I know it fluently...
I know where the Second Foundation really is!
I like a nice display, so I don't use just any two-bit video card ...
I like work... I can sit and watch it for hours.
I live in a quiet neighborhood -- We use silencers.
I love mankind, It's the people I can't stand.
I made it foolproof, but they're making better fools...
I may be lost, but I'm way ahead of schedule.
I may be stupid, but that still makes me smarter than you.
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
I may have settled in shipping.
I may not be perfect, but I am all I got!
I may not be right, but I'm never wrong!
I maybe fat, but your ugly-and I can lose weight!
I must have a rapier wit; everyone keeps parrying.
I must hurry, for there they go and I am their leader.
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
I ne d a n w ke bo  d.
I need a practice target... Wesley! * Worf
I need some duck tape. My duck has a quack in it.
I never buy books on impulse. Only on warp.
I never let school get in the way of my education.
I never rise above the noise and confusion...
I often daydream about my inability to fantasize.
I only like two kinds of women: domestic and foreign.
I only wrote the thing, I don't have to understand it!
I parked my harddisk - and got a ticket!
I passed my ethics course. I cheated, of course.
I photocopied a mirror. Now I have an extra photocopier.
I practice safe eating...I use condiments.
I read comic books all day lon%$#^ NO CAREER
I read part of it.. all the way through.
I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
I said copy the disk - not xerox it!
I saw a light at the end of the tunnel - it was a train.
I sentence you to hang by the neck until you cheer up.
I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it?
I started out with nothing. I still have most of it. Davis.
I support drug tests. Test the politicians.
I thank my lucky stars I'm not superstitious.
I think ... therefore I am overqualified.
I think I think, therefore I might be.
I think I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I think I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.
I think, therefore I am overqualified.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim.
I tried to play my shoehorn, but all I got were footnotes.
I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my...
I used to be apathetic, but now I just don't care.
I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
I voted for Change! And that's all I've got left.
I want to be a veterinarian because I love children.
I was Rush Limbaugh in a previous life.
I was a war baby; one look at me and my parents fought!
I was an only child......eventually.
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.
I was on a roll, 'till I slipped on the butter.
I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.
I wise man cares not what other poeple think of himself.
I wish I could remember where I parked my hard disk....
I wish life had an editable scroll-back buffer ...
I won't use Windows, I won't use Windows, I won't....
I would have suffered a lot more if understood.
I would prefer something a little more reliable than hope.
I wouldn't mind being poor if I had lots of money.
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.
I! finally! learned! how! to! punctuate! Kirk! sentences!
I'd always wondered about that.
I'd be a narcissist, but I'm WAY too ugly.
I'd change the world for the better if only I had the source code.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd have written sooner but I thought I owed you money.
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
I'd love to, but the last time I went, I never came back.
I'd love to, but I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
I'd love to but, I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
I'd rather lose my memory than my..ummm...ahhh...never mind.
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus...
I'll Have What The Fellow On The Floor Is Having
I'll have one brain on drugs with bacon, toast and juice.
I'll have what the guy on the floor is having
I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
I'll just nip out and shoot myself.
I'm "flower units" about you, too.
I'm NOT 30..I am 18 with 12 years experience!
I'm a hero with coward's legs.
I'm a natural blonde, so please speak slowly.
I'm a paranoid schizophrenic always out to get myself...
I'm a pea - I can feel a princess through 50 matresses.
I'm a virgin, but I'm just not very good at it.
I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm as innocent as a new-laid egg.
I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
I'm definitely positively maybe decisive.
I'm donating my body to science fiction!
I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way.
I'm growing older but not up . -Jimmy Buffett
I'm having an out-of-money experience.
I'm in a phone booth at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm in shape ... decapolyhedron that is.
I'm incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
I'm just here for moral support...ignore the gun.
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'm more humble than you are!
I'm multitasking... I'm reading in the bathroom.
I'm neither for nor against apathy.
I'm not a Vulcan, but I play one on TV  Leonard Nimoy
I'm not arrogant, I'm RIGHT!
I'm not asking you to LIVE in sin, only to visit awhile..
I'm not conceited, I just can't stand mortals.
I'm not easily offended--please try harder.
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
I'm not old. I'm chronologically gifted.
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".
I'm not short and heavy, I'm just traveling near the speed of light.
I'm not short; I'm "vertically challenged."
I'm not sloppy, I'm organizationally challenged.
I'm not so think as you drunk I am!
I'm not super man. But I am very dense.
I'm not telling where my spots end! * Dax
I'm not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.
I'm only paranoid because everyone's against me.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I'm positively enameled with this subject.
I'm practicing assertiveness. Do you think that's okay?
I'm proud to have been a part of your moral decline.
I'm sensing large dripping globs of chocolate. * Troi
I'm so bored, I'm starting to miss my husband.
I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you're just a mirage.
I'm trying to find myself. Has anyone seen me lately?
I'm warning you! One step closer and I'll drop carrier!
I'm wobbling and I can't fall down! Weeble
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
I've boldly gone where no one has gone before.
I've fallen and I can't get down, James Brown
I've fallen, and I get get up!
I've got Parkinson's disease.  And he's got mine.
I've got a mind like a... a... what's that thing called?
I've got a photgraphic memory, I just aint got any film in there
I've never met a GUI I couldn't crash.
I've seen you before. Milk carton?
I've told you a million times to quit exaggerating.
I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
IBM - Making tomorrow's mistakes TODAY!
IBM - Yesterday's technology today!
IBM stands for 'Inferior But Marketable'
IBM: Inevitably Bad Marketing
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
IBM: When you care enough to spend the very most
IF STONE(ROTATION) > 1 THEN MOSS(PROPAGATION) = 0
ILLITERATE? Write for a free brochure...
Idealism increases in proportion to the distance from the problem.
Idiot: A member of a large and powerful tribe from which humans developed.
If I buy the steel wool, can you knit me a Porsche?
If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes sooner.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I save time, when do I get it back?
If I throw a cat out the car window, is it kitty litter?
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
If I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you.
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were you, who'd be me?
If I'm right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
If IBM has Bugs, does an Apple have Worms?
If J. Paul Getty opened a health resort, would it be a Spa-Getty?
If Noah had used Zip, he could have used a smaller boat.
If Q were castrated, would he become O?
If Reagan is the answer, it must have been a very silly question.
If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of it's nose?
If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.
If a sight is worth seeing, someone will build a highway to it.
If a tree falls and hits a mime, does he make a sound?
If all else fails, immortality can be assured by spectacular error.
If all else fails, you are almost there.
If ambition doesn't hurt, you do not have it.
If anyone has an idea why I do this, keep it to yourself.
If anything can go wrong, it will.
If at first you don't succeed - suck another seed.
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If at first you don't succeed, you'll get lots of advice.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
If at first you don't succeed; read the instructions.
If at first you don't succeed, deny you even tried.
If at first you don't succeed; destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
If at first you don't succeed, you're about normal.
If at first you don't succeed; call it Windows.
If at first you don't succeed; so much for skydiving.
If at first you don't succeed; Blame everyone else.
If corn oil is made from corn, what's baby oil made from?
If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will.
If every fool wore a crown, we would all be kings.
If everything seems to be going well, you've probably overlooked something.
If facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
If idiots could fly, then this would be an airport.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If it ain't borken, don't fix it.
If it ain't broke, let me have a shot at it....
If it falls on your head you know it's a rock
If it feels good, don't do it.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
If it is worth fighting for, it is worth fighting dirty for.
If it isn't borken, don't fix it.
If it isn't true, at least it is a happy invention.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
If it screams, it's not food... yet.
If it screams, it's best not to eat it.
If it wasn't for C we'd be using BASI, PASAL, and OBOL!
If it works, it must be obsolete.
If it works, Don't fix it.
If it's free, it costs too much.
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If it's seems to Good to be True: IT IS!!!
If it's stupid, but it works, then it's not stupid.
If it's useless, it will have to be documented.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
If nothing is impossible, how do you get off a mailing list? -Dik.
If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
If one sticks to rigidly to ones principles one would hardly see anybody.
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.
If only youth knew... If only age could!
If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns.
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.
If sanity were dollars I'd be bankrupt.
If screwups were dollars, I'd be a millionaire!!
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If speed kills, Windows users may live forever.
If the customer wants vanilla, give him vanilla.
If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
If there isn't a law, there will be.
If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
If this is timesharing, give me my share right now.
If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
If two people agree all the time, one of them is unnecessary.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off.
If written correctly, legalese is perfectly incomprehensible.
If ya can't say anything nice, sit by me.
If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?
If you aren't rich, you should always look useful.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you can read this, you're in range.
If you can see the floor, it doesn't need to be cleaned.
If you can't make it work, make a statistic of it.
If you can't bite, don't show your teeth.
If you can't be offensive WHY BOTHER?
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
If you come up with a lemon, make lemonade.
If you don't make mistakes you don't make anything.
If you don't have a memory like an elephant, leave tracks like one.
If you don't know what it does, don't fool with it!
If you don't eat garlic, they'll never smell it on you.
If you don't ask, you'll NEVER know.
If you don't fall down, you're not trying!
If you don't care where you are, then you can't get lost.
If you eat yogurt, you'll have lots of culture.
If you expected it to be easy, you should have become a politician.
If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
If you get up one time more than you fall you will make it through.
If you had one less chromosome, you'd be a Simpson!
If you haven't found something strange during the day,
If you have to be responsible, it's not power.
If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class?
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
If you have to tell people you're famous, you aren't.
If you itch for it, scratch for it.
If you love something set it free. If it doesn't return, hunt it down.
If you love life, it will love you back.
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
If you pull the wings off a fly, does it become a walk?
If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.
If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it.
If you see an onion ring - answer it!
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
If you stand up to be counted someone will take your seat.
If you stop arguing for a moment, you'd see that I'm right!
If you take the plunge, return it by Tuesday.
If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.
If you think you have no faults, that makes one.
If you think yesterday was a drag, just wait until you see tomorrow!
If you think YOU have a lot to remember, imagine being a chromosome.
If you throw mud,  you will have dirty hands.
If you torture the data long enough, they will confess.
If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
If you use a portrait monitor, does your mousemat have to be sideways?
If you wanna know the value of money, try to borrow some.
If you want my advice, pay me!
If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone.
If you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
If you want something badly, that is how you get it.
If you want to kill time, why not try working it to death?
If you're not rejected at least three times a week you're not really trying.
If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
If you've got part of it, flaunt that part.
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you were built upside down.
If your parents didn't have children, odds are that you won't either.
If your ship doesn't come in, swim to it.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Ifyoucanreadthisyouspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Ignorance is less hatefill that conceitedness.
Ignorance is the mother of adventure.
Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP!
Imagination is one weapon in the war against reality.
Imagine a witty phrase here.
Improve mail delivery... mail the posties their pay!!
Improve your memory, forget about work.
In Borland you are never bored!
In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats
In an atomic war, all men will be cremated equal.
In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
In case of emergency, break glass, scream, bleed to death.
In every large problem is a small problem waiting to get out.
In every real man a child is hidden who wants to play.
In fair weather prepare for foul.
In matters of grave importance, style,  not sicerity is the vital thing.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
In order to reach the sea, a river often detours around many obstacles.
In politics you can often be wrong but never in doubt.
In space...no one can hear you "Cha! Cha! Cha!"
In stereo where available.     .elbaliava erehw oerets nI
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
In the presence of great men, even fools hide their faults.
In the race for quality, there is no finish line.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
In which level of metalanguage are you now speaking?
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
Income tax is the price we pay for our jobs.
Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
Inconceivable! - Vizzini
Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?
Incorrigible punster - Do not incorrige.
Incorrigible punster -- do not incorrige!
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Indifference error, press any key.  Or don't.  See if I care.
Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
Individualists unite!
Individualists of the world - UNITE!
Industry standard: The way IBM *WON'T* do it.
Infinity means a 100% probablity of everything.
Innuedo: An Italian suppository.
Insanity is just a state of mind.
Insert diskette in Drive C. Press [ENTER] to continue...
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
Install failed. Attempting to transfer virus to c:
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Instruction ends in the classroom, but education ends only with life.
Insufficient Memory: Remove the "Buffers=655,360" line.
Insufficient disk space. Delete Windows?
Interchangeable parts won't.
Interchangeable parts ... Don't.
Intuition is reason in a hurry.
Invest in physics - own a piece of Dirac!
Iraqi Bingo: B-52...F-16...A-10...F-18...F-117...B-2...
Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
Is that Pee Wee Herman in the Barney suit?
Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Is the "Truth" so bizarre it is unbelievable?
Is there a lawyer in the house?  <BLAM!>  Is there another?
Is there a Lemon Law for Presidents too?
Is there any truth to the rumor that everything is really okay?
Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn.
Is wetter REALLY better?
Isn't 'Dumb Blonde' a peroxymoron?
Isn't there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
Isn't this the OFF-TOPIC conference?
It ain't the size of the pencil, but how well you write
It costs more to revenge injuries that to bear them.
It has been discovered: research causes cancer in rats.
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
It is a bad well into which one must put water.
It is a good day to die. - Worf, son of Mog
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
It is always much harder to find a job than to keep one.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is best to tell the truth unless you are an exeptionally good liar.
It is better to know useless things than to know nothing.
It is better to be born lucky than rich.
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it.
It is better to know useless things than nothing?
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
It is better to be miserable and rich than miserable and poor.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
It is better to be wise than to be smart.
It is better to be hated than to be ignored.
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is easier to admire hard work if you don't do it.
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
It is easy to be wise after the event.
It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them.
It is never too late to learn.
It is no every couple that is a pair.
It is not necessary to fall into a well to know its depth.
It is not work that kills but worry.
It is now politically correct to criticize political correctness
It is the first step that is difficult.
It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things
It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
It is...It is...<sniff>...It is green.  Data
It isn't the whistle that moves the train.
It may be that perpetual peace can only be brought about by perpetual war.
It only works when you're not looking.
It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit.
It takes 11 cockroaches to mail a letter.
It takes 4 years to get a PhD and 40 years to get over it.
It takes a mature person to be really young.
It takes all Types(tyles) and I want them ALL!
It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.
It takes two to make a bargain.
It was a brave person who first ate an oyster.
It was not my intention to amuse you. Spock STV
It was so cold, I almost got married.
It was such a lovely day, I thought it was a pity to get up.
It works better if you plug it in where it should be.
It works better if you plug it in *AND THEN* turn it on.
It'a not the bullet that kills you, It's the hole.
It's 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta pawn it off on someone else.
It's a fine line between fishing & standing still.
It's a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
It's a terrible thing to waste one's mind -Dan Quayle
It's a tragedy that no man become like their mothers.
It's all right letting your self go as long as you can get yourself back.
It's always darkest just before you step on the cat.
It's always darkest before you step on the cat.
It's as easy as 3.14159265358979323846....
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's better to burn out than to fade away!
It's better the world wonder why you *AREN'T* President.
It's better to retire too soon than too late.
It's easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
It's easier to do good than be good.
It's easy to suggest the solution when you don't know the problem.
It's hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
It's hard to be humble when you are so perfect.
It's just a storm in a Raktajino cup.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better!
It's love, it's love that makes the world go round.
It's mind over matter - it you don't mind, it don't matter.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
It's nobody's business, not even mine.
It's not 55mph, it's 147,840 furlongs per fortnight.
It's not a crime until you get caught.
It's not a perfect world, but what's your excuse?
It's not a rumor. It's something I heard.
It's not a matter of life and death - it's much more important than that.
It's not a BUG, it's an undocumented feature!
It's not cute being this easy.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
It's not how old you are but how you are old.
It's not my fault, I didn't touch it!
It's not only fine feathers that make fine birds.
It's not only who you know but what you know about who you know that counts.
It's not over until the FAT table sings!
It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.
It's okay to call someone stupid; just don't prove it.
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a
It's only eighteen inches between a pat on the back and a kick in the pants.
It's smart to pick your friends, but not to pieces.
It's sweet to be remembered, but cheaper to be forgotten.
It's terrible when your cats tease you.
It's true: The rich are different from us... they have more money.
It's what inside you, not the outside that counts.
Ith i nk m y ha r d d i sk i sfr a gme n te d !
Ithinkmyspacebarstoppedworking.
Its hard to be graceful getting off your high horse.
Its not a bug, its a hidden and seldom used feature!
Its not a bug, its an undocumented feature...
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia's First Nobel Laureate
JUMP! -- One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
Jealousy is the greatest evil.
Jealousy: all the fun you think they have.
Jean-Luc, I just love your new hairstyle! * Q
Jean-Luc, I love it when you're boring. * Beverly
Join the apathy club. We don't care!
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
Judge not a carpenter on how fast chips fly.
Judge people by what they are, not where they are.
Judging a book by it's cover will save you from reading the contents.
Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
Junior, quit playing with your floppy!
Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
Jurassic Park: dinosaurs real, actors simulated.
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Just My Opinion (But I'm Right!)
Just a relocated Blue Hen's chick, here...
Just adding features because 'it won't hurt' -- does.
Just another line in the field of time.
Just ask yourself: "What would McGyver do?"
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
Just bungled it trying to be smart.
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here.
Just don't let Kirk show you what he calls "The Captain's Log."
Just got a new car for my wife... Great trade...
Just my luck - my psychotic episode is a rerun.
Just one more question...
Just when you finally make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
Just when you think you're winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat.
Justice: A decision in your favor.
Karaoke is a Japanese word meaning "tone deaf."
Keep Australia beautiful... swallow your beer cans.
Keep laughing at death, and eventually at least you may die laughing.
Keep repeating: It's only four years......
Keep your eyes open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Keep your temper - nobody else wants it.
Keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them later.
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Keyboard: device used to enter errors into the computer.
Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
KiloJoule - what happens if you play football without protection
Kindness consists of loving people more than they deserve.
Kindness is like a boomerang - it always comes back.
Kirk to Enterprise, Kirk to Enterprise! DAMN, It's BUSY!
Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
Kisses are love's messengers.
Kissing a man without a moustache is like eating an egg without salt.
Klein bottle for rent - inquire within.
Kleptomaniac: a rich thief.
Klingon Battle Cruisers Uncloaking...or is it Odo?
Klingon DOS: That command or file name has no *honour*!
Klingon adaptation of Earth sport:  Full-contact golf.
Klingon tagline: Strike any user when ready.
Knock firm but softly. I like soft firm knockers!
Knowing Murphy's law won't help.
Knowledge is power - if you know it about the right person.
Knowledge is knowing that you don't know.
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
Latin is a real angina gluteus maximus.
Latinum talks.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Fall Over And It Laughs At You.
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laugh while you can Monkey Boy!
Laughter lubes life's engine.
Laughter...The no side effect tranquilizer.
Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
Law of Supply: It's yours if you don't need nor want it.
Lawmakers should not be lawbreakers.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Lawyers: Money Bins for words.
Lawyers: the larval form of politicians.
Laziness is easily mistaken for patience.
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others' works.
Learn from your parents mistakes; use birth control.
Learn why the world wags and what wags it.
Learning isn't a means to an end; it is an end in itself
Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
Learning to build we learn integrity.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let me know if you didn't receive this message!
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let not the sands of time get into your lunch.
Let not your tongue cut your throat.
Let the meek inherit the Earth, I want the stars!
Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.
Let's have a little fun, let's do a pun.
Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
Let's see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
Life has a great deal up its sleeve.
Life is a bifurcated chaotic attractor-and then you die.
Life is a horse, either you ride it or it rides you.
Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
Life is a yo-yo and mankind keeps tying knots in the string.
Life is an onion and one peels it crying.
Life is full of undocumented features!
Life is just a figment of my imagination.
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
Life is only understood backward, but must be lived forward.
Life is the art of being well-deceived.
Life is too short not to be in love !
Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Life is what goes by while you are watching television.
Life would be easier if I had the source code
Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
Life's Little Mystery #311: The SysRq key
Life's contradictions tend to grow.
Life's like a mud sandwich, It gets worse the deeper you get into it.
Life's not passing me by....it's RUNNING ME OVER!!!!
Light at end of tunnel will be out until further notice.
Light at the end of the tunnel? Look out for that train.
Limbaugh Institute FOR Advanced Conservative Studies.
Limit M.P.'s to two terms...1 in Parliament & 1 in Jail.
Line noise provided by Telecom Australia!
Lions & tigers & bears oh my!
Little boats should keep near the shore.
Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape.
Little things attract little minds.
Little things come in small packages.
Live and let live.
Live every day as if it were your last. One day you'll be right.
Live long and suffer  - ancient Vulcan curse.
Live now -- procrastinate tomorrow!
Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
Live with youre income... even if you have to borrow to do it.
Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
Loafer - someone trying to make two weekends meet.
Loan someone a sympathetic ear.
Locked coathanger in car; good thing I had a key.
Logic is a pretty wreath of flowers that smells bad
Logic is neither an art or a science but a dodge.
Logic! Logic! Logic! I'm sick to death of Logic.
Look before you leap.
Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.
Looking for a good time?  Call Troi at 1-900-NCC-1701
Looking out for #1, trying not to step in #2.
Lose weight - eat stuff you hate.
Lose weight - put a scale in front of the 'frig.
Losing makes winning worthwhile.
Love America - or give it back.
Love demands faith and faith firmness.
Love does much but money does more.
Love is being willing to share your toothbrush with someone else.
Love is blind but Latinum doesn't argue.
Love is grand, divorce is twenty grand.
Love is like a pair of socks - you must have two and they have to match.
Love is nothing more than sentimental measles.
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.
Love levels all enequalities.
Love rules the kingdom without a sword.
Love sees no faults.
Love shines like a burning star falling from the sky.
Love thy neighbour, but keep the hedge in tact.
Love truth but pardon error.
Love your enemies -- it makes them so damned mad.
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with...
MACINTOSH= Machine Always Crashes If Not The Operating System Hung
MAYBE, and that's final!
METRONOME - a small person riding the subway.
MINUTATER (min' u tay tur) The smallest french fry in the bag.
MODEM: Modus Operandi Device for Evil Minds
MONEY TALKS ...   but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!
MP stands for Magnificent Pension.
Mac screen message: "Like, dude, something went wrong."
MacIntosh: Computer with training wheels you can't remove.
Mad at your neighbor? Buy his kid a drum!
Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
Maintain thy airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee.
Maintenance release - The janitor wrote it!
Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
Make a living, but make room for life.
Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Make something idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.
Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
Man has his will.  But woman has her way!
Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Man is the only animal that blushes... or needs to.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
Man's reach should exceed his overbite.
Man, that ligntning sounds closo7 NO CARRIER
Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.
Mandatory tagline not required for this message
Manuals out, after all possible keystrokes have failed.
Many a man never fails because he never tries.
Many a true word is spoken in jest.
Many are cold, few are frozen.
Many foxes grow grey, but few grow good.
Many kiss the hand that they wish cut off.
Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
Many times in order to receive something, you have to ask for it.
Many would be cowards if they had enough courage.
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
Marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish...
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
Massive expenditures obscure the evidence of bad judgments.
Math and alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and derive.
Math problems? Call 1-800-10*(24+13)-(64-16)/2^14E2.
May I buy less government please?
May all your PUSHes be POPed.
May the bugs of many programs nest on your hard drive.
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
May you live all the days of your life.
Maybe it's right to be nervous now...
McBorg: Over 50 million assimilated.
Me hates peoples who don't use gooder English.
Me, indecisive? I'm not so sure about that.
Me...A Skeptic ? I trust you to have proof...
Meetings are indispensable for not doing anything.
Meets government specs, if any are applicable.
Megahertz--when something is really painful.
Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Men show their character best by the things they laugh at.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Menu: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.
Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Microsecond: Amount of time needed for a program to bomb.
Microsoft  Where do you want to go today ... after Windows loads ...
Microsoft: To badly go where more clever people have avoided going.
Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military secrets are the most fleeting of all. - Spock
Millihelen: unit of beauty required to launch one ship.
Millisecond:  Delay between a green light and honking horns
Minding your own business will not be tolerated.
Minds are like parachutes..They only work when they're open.
Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
Misery brings strange bedfellows.
Misery loves company.
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.
Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.
Misfortunes never come singly.
Misfortunes always enter a door left open for them.
Mispelled? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting.
Missing keyboard - press F1
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting.
Mistakes will happen, but don't give them too much help.
Misteaching: Telling one's grandmother how to suck eggs.
Mister Worf, show these children the airlock. Picard
Mister!  Here's your mule!
Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
Modem sex begins with a handshake!
Modem.... A deterrent to phone solicitors.
Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Modesty is good bait when fishing for praise.
Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.
Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
Money Can Make You Rich!
Money can't buy poverty -- you sort of have to earn it.
Money can't buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
Money has no legs, but it runs.
Money is better than poverty if only for financial reasons.
Money is like muck, Not good enough except to be spread.
Money is like manure - it is meant to be spread around.
Money is like a promise, easier made than kept.
Money is round, it rolls away.
Money is the root of all evil, but man needs roots.
Money is the sinews of both love and war.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money is the root of all evil. Send $20 for more information.
Money isn't everything: It usually isn't enough.
Money lent to a friend must be recovered from an enemy.
Money makes not so many true friends as real enemies.
Money makes the world go around.
Money talks! Mine just said goodbye!!
Money talks, anyone can understand it.
Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
Mongo only pawn in game of life.
Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
More people are run down by gossip than by automobiles.
Morfy's law - Enythink thit ken go rong willl.
Morning after pill for men - it changes your blood type.
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
Most great discoveries start with making a mistake.
Most men have died without creating; not one has died without destroying.
Most people raise their voice rather than reinforcing their point.
Most people don't care what happens so long as it doesn't happen to them.
Mount St. Helens should have used earth control.
Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
Move your vowels every day or you'll get consonated.
Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send Donations to:
Moving fast is not the same as going somewhere.
Mr. Bullfrog says: Time is fun when you're having flies.
Mr. Worf fire pharsers at will! *ZAP* Hey where did Riker go?
Multitasking = screwing up several things at once.
Murder is just an extroverted suicide...
Murphy IS out there ... WAITING...
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphy's Golden Rule:  Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Murphy's Law fails only when you try to demonstrate it.
Must Go - Our Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
My Guru told me there'd be lifetimes like this.
My Hard Disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT.
My brain operation was considered minor surgery.
My cat has 9 lives, but my frog croaks daily!
My computer's sick and I think my modem is a carrier.
My computer never locks u
My computer has a virus and can't call in to work today.
My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
My computer can beat up your computer.
My damm m key is brokem, mo I meam m key, mot m
My favorite mythical creature?  The honest politician.
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
My haystack had no needle!
My horse got shot, so I had to break his leg...
My last original thought died of loneliness.
My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.
My life is not organized around high probability events.
My machine will do lunch with yours.
My mind ain't so open that anything can crawl right in.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
My other brain's an Einstein.
My other computer has Lwaxana Troi's voice.
My other computer is a VAX.
My other computer is a Pentium.
My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship...
My problem is reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
My spelbng is perfecf bnt I ansmer wail om my Apble Newtom!
My tagline can beat up your tagline.
My tagline is in the shop. This is a loaner.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
My wife gives good headache.
My wife or my modem? Gee, I'll miss her....
NEVER tug on Kira's ear ring to get her attention!
NEWS FLASH: Virus Author offers free upgrades to registered users.
NO CARRIER... Naval pilot's worst nightmare!
Nature Always Sides With The Hidden Flaw !
Nature, like people sometimes weeps for gladness.
Neutron - Tron 2, the movie.
Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.
Never ask for a pardon before you have been accused.
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
Never call a man fool when you can borrow money from him instead.
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
Never deal with a beggar, it's bad for profits.
Never doubt the word of another Ferengi. Just don't trust it.
Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet!
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Never get between a fat guy and the candy machine.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Never go to sea with two chronometres, take one or three.
Never hit a man with glasses...Use your fist.
Never invest money is something that needs feeding or repainting.
Never joke with the ignorant. They take it seriously and think you're crazy.
Never judge a book by its movie.
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
Never let the facts get in the way of a good story!
Never let your studies interfere with your education.
Never let your sense of morals interfere with doing the right thing.
Never lie unless you have an awfully good memory.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never slap a child in the face - there are plenty of other places.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant!
Never step in anything soft.
Never take a beer to a job interview.
Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you!
Never trust a skinny cook.
Never trust free advice.
Never trust a Ferengi who smiles when he pays.
Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Never use no double negatives.
Never vote for a politican that says "I can't".
New Years' Resolution-perhaps I might get more decisive, I dunno.
News Flash: World to end at 10:00! News at 11.
Newton's law: Sitting under apple trees causes headaches.
Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
Nice computers don't go down.
Nice landing.  Next time, put the wheels down first.
Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
No Worf...The holodeck won't run Doom.
No amount of careful planning will ever replace dumb luck.
No amount of poor schooling can spoil a good student.
No answer is also an answer.
No battle plan has ever survived contact with the enemy.
No decorations necessary.
No executive ever devotes any effort to proving himself wrong.
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
No good deed goes unpunished.
No honest man ever repented of his honesty.
No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas.
No man is a fool always, but all men are fools sometimes.
No man is lonely while eating spaghetti - it requires so much attention.
No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney.
No matter how you slice it, it's still a golf ball
No matter where you go, there you are. Right here.
No matter where you go, there you are. Go see yourself!
No matter which way you spit, it's up wind.
No matter who you vote for the government wins!
No matter where you go, there you are.
No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
No mud can soil us but the mud we throw.
No offence intended to those that offence not intended to.
No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
No one can get ahead of you when they're kicking you in the rear.
No one can be caught in places he does not visit.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
No one ever said freedom was free.
No one has ever been blinded by looking on the bright side of life!
No one test the depth of a river with both feet.
No person should govern another without their permission.
No pointed ears, but you sound like a Vulcan.  McCoy
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
No purchase required, details inside package.
No sense being pessimistic.  It wouldn't work anyway.
No speech can be entirely bad if it is short enough.
No thanks. I already have a nagila.
No wonder can last more than three days.
No, Number One, it is not your turn to say "engage."
No, Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican telephone company!
No, dear - smoke is SUPPOSED to come out...
No, that chair isn't saved. But we're praying for it!
No; not dead, "electroencephalographically challenged."
No?! Some people still read mail a packet at a time?!
Noah saved animals from the flood by arcing them!
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
Noble gases - when the King had too many Pork-n-Beans
Nobody can be like me. Even I have trouble doing so.
Nobody ever puts out a sign that says NICE DOG.
Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded....
Nobody notices when things go right.
Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
Not all politician's minds are made out of concrete.
Not all the cookies are in the jar.
Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
Not now ... I have to go mow the laundry.
Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
Not tonight dear, I have a modem.
Not tonight, dear.  I have a modem.
Nothing could be finah than to be in Carolina!
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.
Nothing is as good as a change.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
Nothing is interesting if you're not interested.
Nothing is worse than to see idiots succeed where we have failed.
Nothing is sometimes the best thing to say.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
Nothing is opened more often by mistake than the mouth.
Nothing is ill said if it is not ill taken.
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free, or IBM compatible.
Nothing like fresh men for the gators.
Nothing makes a vacation seem better than hindsight.
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss do an honest day's work.
Nothing really happens until it happens to you.
Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Nothing ventured... nothing gained... nothing taxed!!!
Nothing vouchered, nothing gained.
Nothing wrong that reincarnation won't cure.
Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.
Notice how no one criticized Riker until Wesley was gone?
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Now now, we're not schizophrenic, are we?
Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
Now this won't hurt a bit....
Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Now where did I put those transwarp drive specs? ...
Nuclear Atom - an atom that has just been washed.
Nuclear Transformation - what happened to the cows in The Day After.
Nuclear submarine's major problem: Whale mating season.
Nudist Camp sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
Number of Vulcans needed to replace a bulb? Precisely 1.000000
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
OK. I got a life. Now, what do I do with it?
OPCODE: AAR = Alter at Random
OPCODE: AND = Accelerate Noisy Disk
OPCODE: AWTT = Assemble with Tinker Toys
OPCODE: CAPH = Convert All Prime numbers to Hex
OPCODE: CBNC = Close, but no Cigar
OPCODE: CLBRI = Clobber Register Immediately
OPCODE: CLD = Close Logical Door
OPCODE: CMPSW = Copy Multiple Programs to Standard Window
OPCODE: CNB = Cause Nervous Breakdown
OPCODE: COLB = Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
OPCODE: CPPR = Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
OPCODE: EXOP = Execute Operator
OPCODE: EXPP = Execute Political Prisoner
OPCODE: FLI = Flash Lights Impressively
OPCODE: FSM = Fold, Spindle and Mutilate
OPCODE: FSRA = Forms Skip and Run Away
OPCODE: HLT = Hide Last Term paper
OPCODE: IAE = Ignore All Exceptions
OPCODE: IIB = Ignore Inquiry and Branch
OPCODE: INT = Invade Next Terminal
OPCODE: IRET = Ignore Request and Explode Terminal
OPCODE: JO = Jail Owner
OPCODE: JP = Junk Program
OPCODE: PVLC = Punch Variable Length Card
OPCODE: RA = Randomize Answer
OPCODE: RASC = Read and Shred Card
OPCODE: RCB = Read Command Backwards
OPCODE: RDA = Refuse to Disclose Answer
OPCODE: RDB = Run Disk Backwards
OPCODE: STA = Store Anywhere
OPCODE: STROM = Store in Read-only Memory
OPCODE: TARC = Take Arithmetic Review Course
OPCODE: UER = Update and Erase Record
OPCODE: ULDA = Unload Accumulator
OPCODE: UP = Understand Program
OPCODE: UPCI = Update Card In Place
OPCODE: WBT = Water Binary Tree
OPCODE: WEMG = Write Eighteen Minute Gap
OPCODE: WF = Wait Forever
OPCODE: WSWW = Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways
OPCODE: WWLR = Write Wrong-Length Record
OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Obey little! Resist much! Question authority! Eat fibre!
Objects on screen are closer than they appear...
Observe the face of the wife to know the husband's character.
Occasional chair: What is it the rest of the time?
Of all liars, memory is the most convincing.
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Of all thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
Of course I Know what I'm doing... ...NO CARRIER
Of course I know Braille, :.::: ::..: ::.::.  :..::
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Oh I saw the stop-Sign Officer, It's YOU I didn't see!
Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark?
Oh that?  It was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
Oh, I'm sorry...were the voices in my head bothering you?
Oh, heavy is the burden of being me. * Q
Oh, pardon me, was that *your* culture? So sorry.
Oh, very clever Worf. Eat any good books lately?
Okay, I pulled the pin.  Now what?..  Hey, where are you going?
Okay, I'm crazy! But I'm saving up to be eccentric!
Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old Skiers never die. They just go downhill.
Old age comes at a bad time in life.
Old age is better than the alternative.
Old age needs so little, but it needs that little so much.
Old birds are hard to pluck.
Old is when your back goes out more often than you do.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
Old programmers never die, they just terminate and stay resident.
Old programmers don't die, they just lose their memory.
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away..
Old soldiers never die. Young soldiers do.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
On finding a stone we see no dog; on seeing a dog we find no stone.
On the edge of a precipice, only a fool does cartwheels.
On the other hand... you have five different fingers.
On the wall of the Enterprise woman's restroom: "Where no man has gone before".
On what conclusions do you base your facts?
Once again, Odo wins the Twister championship.
Once uttered, words run faster than the horses I bet on.
One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.
One already wet does not fear the rain.
One can never underestimate the intelligence of the electorate.
One crow will not peck out another crow's eyes.
One enemy can harm you more than one hundred friends can do you good.
One half of the world must sweat and groan that the other half may dream.
One hand cannot applaud.
One is tolerant only of that which does not concern him.
One kid I put thru college, the other I put thru a wall.
One lie always leads to another.
One lie makes many.
One lie or one peanut...One leads to another.
One man plus courage is a majority.
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving.
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
One of the great disadvantages of hurry is that takes such a long time.
One of the hardest secrets for a man to keep is his opinion of himself.
One of these days is none of these days.
One peels a problem like an onion.
One person's <grin> is another's <groan>.
One seventh of our lives is spent on Mondays.
One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory.
One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
Only a sadistic man or a fool tells the truth on social occasions.
Only adults have trouble with child-proof bottles.
Only by the negation does one arrive at the affirmation.
Only fools say it can't be done.
Only hey can conquer who believe they can.
Only in your dreams are you really free.
Only the game fish swims upstream.
Only the good die young. Note the average age in Parliament.
Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Only the rich have distant relatives.
Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
Oops! You found another "Undocumented Feature!"
Open WINDOWS and you let BUGS in...
Open minded? Space Cadet? Vacuum Technology?
Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.
Operator halted.  Star Trek is on.
Operator? Give me the number for nine-one-one!!
Optimist: Commodore computer salesman with a beeper.
Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Originality: Undetected plagarism.
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
Ostrich: He often runs so fast he leaves himself behind.
Other men live to eat, while I eat to live!!!
Other times, other customs.
Others look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
Our Mission: To Boldly stay home and read mail off line.
Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near
Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
Our own grief produces pity for another.
Our pleasures are imagined, but our griefs are all real.
Our warranty doesn't cover fire, theft, or acts of dog.
Out to Lunch. If not back by 5, then Out to dinner.
Out to lunch. If not back by 6 pm, out to dinner also.
Outside noisy, inside empty.
Over 49.99% of all people are below average.
Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
Oxymoron: Advanced BASIC.
Oxymoron: Term meaning stupid as an Ox.
P'grammers dont change lite b; that's a hardware pblm
PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
POLITICS: Poli = Poly = Many, Tics = Blood Suckers.
PREDICTION: You are reading messages right now.
PREGNANCY: When he was poking her in fun and she took him seriously!
PRINTER : A computer accessory for destroying forests.
Pain is forgotten; insult lingers on.
Pain is inevitable. Misery, however, is an option.
Pants: Trousers' country cousins.
Paper clips are the larval stage of coat hangers.
Paranoid: someone who just figured out what's going on.
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor's life.
Part-time musicians are semiconductors.
Patience abused becomes fury.
Peace is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it.
Peace: A period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.
Pentium-Based Science Fiction:  Deep Space 8.999309849...
People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
People forget how fast you did a job, but remember how well you did it.
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
People say I'm indecisive. Am I? I don't know.
People seldom plan to fail, but they often fail to plan.
People seldom want to walk over you until you lie down.
People should be measured in feats, not feet.
People usually get what's coming to them, unless it's been mailed.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
People who stay in the middle of the road usually get run over.
People who pun deserve to be drawn and quoted...
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
People who kill people give guns a bad name.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Permanent solutions never work.
Personally, I don't believe in atheists.
Persuasion is better than force.
Pets: pure love contained in soft packages.
Petting: A study of anatomy in braille...
PhD: Piled Higher and Deeper!
Philosophic enjoyment = mutual  misunderstanding.
Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
Photons have mass?  I didn't even know they were Catholic.
Pick a window........you're going through it.
Pilgrims may follow but there can only be one Columbus.
Pilots are just plane folks.
Pioneers are the ones with the arrows in their backs.
Plain dealing is more often praised than practiced.
Planned parenthood --- the impossible dream.
Plasma is another matter.
Plastic packaged foods are very uncanny.
Play poker with Tarot cards. Got a flush. 5 people died.
Please cut my pizza in six slices - I can't eat eight.
Please disregard the previous fortune cookie.
Please don't yell at me.  I'm new at this.
Please excuse my driving, I'm trying to reload.
Please help me to be patient. And Hurry!
Please hold, a representative will annoy you shortly.
Please keep your hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.
Please let me know if you did not receive this.
Please!  Do not break character!
Please! Don't unzip here! I'm bashful!
Please! Take my word for it.
Plow a straight furrow and you're in a rut.
Poise is the act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
Poker: It's darkest just before you've drawn.
Polaroid: What a polar bear gets from sitting on ice.
Politeness is the art of choosing among your thoughts.
Politically Correct Tagline
Politics is about people making money cutting other people's jobs.
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
Politics is the only profession where no preparation is thought necessary.
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
Politics: Poli=Many, Tics=Blood sucking parasites.
Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
Polymer physicists are into chains.
Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
Pound forehead on keyboard to continue...
Poverty and love are hard to hide.
Poverty is the root of all evil.
Power corrupts, but we still need electricity.
Power does not corrupt fools, but fools corrupt power.
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
PowerPC:  No Intel Inside
Practice makes perfect, but no one's perfect, so why practice?
Practice random kindness & senseless acts of beauty.
Practice safe fax...ALWAYS use a cover slip.
Practiss makes perfict.
Praise a wife but remain a bachelor.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Pray for what you want but work for what you need.
Precinct toilets stolen! Police have nothing to go on.
Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Prevention is better than cure.
Pride and grace never dwell in one place.
Pride in prosperity becomes misery in adversity.
Pride is what we have...Vanity is what others have.
Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Printf("to C or not to C...that is the question/n");
Procrastination - the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark.
Programmer's do it with bytes and nybbles....
Programmers don't repeat themselves, they LOOP
Programmers never die, they branch off to a new address
Programmers don't die, they GOSUB without RETURN
Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.
Progress implies a direction.
Progress was all right... only it went on too long.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
Protect your car: Use a club!
Proverbial excrement hits oscillating air device.
Prune Farr: well, this could be disgusting.... <g>
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
Prunes give you a run for your money.
Psst, your file is open.
Psychiairic: Wherever you go, Your not all there
Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
Psychic Con: You know where and when
Psychic Wanted:  Qualified person will know where to apply.
Psychics will lead dogs to your body.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Psychology: The art of turning stupidity into illness.
Pun: the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it first.
Puns are bad, but poetry is verse!
Push something hard enough and eventually it will fall over.
Put all your eggs in one basket, and WATCH THAT BASKET!
Put off procrastinating till a later time.
Put on your seatbelt. I'm gonna try something new.
Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something....
Put your nose to the grindstone and you're a bloody fool.
Pygmies placed on giants' shoulders see more than the giants themselves.
Q - how can I prove I'm mortal? Worf - DIE!
Q:What do I have to do to convince you people?  Worf:Die.
Quantised Revision of Murphy's Law: Everything goes wrong all at once.
Question authority before they question you!
Question authority, but raise your hand first.
Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore.'
Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts."
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
REAL Programmers start with COPY CON PROGRAM.ARJ.
REAL Programmers Don't Write Games.
REAL programmers write self-modifying code.
REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
ROM instruction: (R)ead (O)perators (M)ind.
ROM wasn't built in a day.
Race Car spelled backwards is Race Car!!!
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
Raise ducks for a quack profit.
Raising Kids Is Like Trying To Heard Cats.
Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
Random (Def.): We don't UNDERSTAND the pattern!
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Real Gas - gases that are not imaginary.
Real Programmers make lousy managers.
Real computer users do it on the command line.
Real joy comes from doing something worthwhile.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of your ignorance.
Real power comes out of wall outlets.
Reality does not exist - yet.
Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
Reality is something that occupies time between dreams.
Reality is blinking again...call for repairs.
Reality is an illusion produced by alcohol deficiency.
Reality...What a concept!
Reality.Sys corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
Reality: a fantasy gone wrong, dreadfully wrong!!!
Recent studies show that recent studies are meaningless.
Recursive, adj.; see Recursive.
Reduce CO2 Emissions - Stop Breathing!
Reformat Hard Drive!  Are you SURE (Y/Y)?
Reincarnation means you never get away with anything.
Remarriage after divorce is the triumph of hope over experience.
Remember, even if you win the rat race; you're still a rat.
Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
Remember, the paper is always strongest at the perforations.
Remember................. Wherever you go, there you are.
Remember: even if you win the rat race, you will still be a rat.
Repartee: an insult with a suit and tie on.
Reply not necessary; just send money.
Research: noun - plural form of plagiarism.
Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
Respect must be earned, not commanded.
Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
Revenge is sweet but profit is sweeter.
Rob Banks.. That's where the money is.
Roll up your sleeves...And you won't lose your shirt.
Romulan DOS: Cloaked command or file name
Round numbers are always false.
Rubber bands have snappy endings!
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
SET DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
STICK \'stik\ n. 1: A boomerang than doesn't work.
SYSTEM ERROR:  press F13 to continue...
Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
Sam, Ziggy doesn't appear to know what a Klingon is......
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Sarcasm works better when it's spelled correctly.
Save changes before exit?  (Y)es, (N)o, (W)hat changes?!?
Save the Chocolate Moose!
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save trees, eat beavers.
Saving is a fine thing, especially when your parents have done it for you.
Say nothing & they think your stupid..Talk & they know for sure.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Science fiction warps your mind. Engage warp factor 10.
Scott me up, Beamie!
Scotty - "I know this ship like the back of my hand!"  <BONK>
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^* NO CARRIER
Scotty's been smoking the Dilythium crystals again, Jim.
Scratch and Sniff->   Smells like glass, eh?
Screw the Prime Directive! Send the Borg Windows.
Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
Second chances aren't usually associated with first impressions.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning...
Secrecy at my job prevents me from knowing what I do.
Secret negotiations are usually neither.
Security is a game but the final goal is never reached.
Security to 10 Forward. Worf's into the margaritas again.
See other side for reading instructions.
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing..
Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
Seems just like yesterday . . . Hey! It was!
Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labour.
Send a self-abused stomped elephant to...
Send more tourists--the last ones were delicious!
Senilgat gnidaer emit hcum oot dneps uoY
Sensors identify the creatures as "scrubbing bubbles."
Sentences are essential elements for writers.
Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
Serial killer - Mouse & modem found dead.
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
Severe mental error ... Low Level Brain Format recommended!
Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance.
Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
Sharper than an asp's tooth to have a thankless child.
She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat.
She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
She has been under more drunken sailors than a head.
She won't last forever; why give her a diamond?
She won't last forever, so why give her a diamond?
Shell to DOS...Come in Dos, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Shh! Be vewy quiet. I'm hunting Womulans!!
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Shoes for Industry. Shoes for the dead.
Shopping Tip: Shoes are only 85 at the bowling alley.
Short cut ... The longest distance between two points.
Short men who dance with tall women get bust in the eye.
Shouldn't you be doing something productive?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
Silence cannot be misquoted.
Silence is less injurious than a bad reply.
Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
Silence is not only golden; it's seldom misquoted.
Silk was invented so that women could go naked in clothes.
Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
Silver in color, very heavy - He's lead, Jim!
Simple rule: If you don't treat me right, shame on you.
Simple... Just do this... <universe ends>  Wesley
Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
Sir! Romulan Warbird decloaking2O:b NO CARRIER
Sir, the USS Tagline has warp capability and is 70 characters in size!
Sirens: What you hear in a Japanese library.
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
Skydiving: Good to the last drop.
Sleep is an inadequate substitute for caffeine.
Small programs are for small minds.
Smile - it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to.
Smile! Things can only get worse.
Smith & Wesson:  The original point and click interface.
Smoke may indicate you have passed maximum performance.
So many idiots... too few flame-throwers...
So why did they go from PS/2 to PS/1???
Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Software independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
Some cures are worse than the disease.
Some days I look my best in a thick fog.
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Some folks feel that beauty times brains is a constant.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Some of us quit looking for work when we find a job.
Some people aren't hard of hearing, but hard of listening.
Some people are educated beyond their intelligence.
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.
Some people will believe anything if it is whispered to them.
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
Somehow I have to believe that I'm worth all the aggravation I cause myself.
Sometimes I wake up grouchy....Mostly I let her sleep.
Sometimes I wish I could get a mirror with a better view.
Sometimes let things happen but sometimes make things happen.
Sometimes silence is the best way to yell at the top of your voice.
Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Sometimes the best defense is a skillful surrender.
Sometimes wrong, but never in doubt.
Sometimes you're a bug..Sometimes you're a windshield!
Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia conference!
Sorry, I haven't got time to understand anything.
Sorry, the brain you have reached is disconnected.
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
Spaghetti code = job security.
Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them.
Speaking without thinking is like shooting without taking aim.
Spring makes everything young again except humans.
Star Trek III: The Search for Plot.  "Spock's brain."
Statistics can be used to support anything, especially statisticians.
Status symbol: foam-rubber wind chimes.
Stepping on people's toes messes up their shine.
Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
Still going! Nothing outlasts Data..he keeps going and go
Stop censorship now, before it stops you!
Stop the World, I want to throw up.
Straight trees have crooked roots.
Strange but not a stranger...
Strangely, Data finds himself relating to heavy metal.
Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
Stress:  Doing a tight 180 at warp 9.5.
Strike any user when ready. . .
Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
Stupidity isn't a condition, it's a career!
Stupidity is not a handicap. Go park somewhere else.
Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
Subway: A place so crowded even men can't all get seats.
Success comes in a can. Failure comes in a can not.
Success has a thousand fathers, but failure is an orphan.
Success has ruined many a good man.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
Success is a matter of luck; just ask any failure.
Success is not permanent, neither is failure.
Success is just a matter of luck.  Ask any failure.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Suicide is confession and confession is suicide.
Sure fire diet, swallowing pride.
Sure, drinking kills brain cells, but only the weak ones.
Sure, when...OINK FLAP OINK FLAP...Well I'll be damned!
Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
Surrender now - before I have to offer you better terms.
Suspicion poisons a friendship.
Swallow your pride, it is non-fattening.
Swallowing angry words is much easier than having to eat them.
Swell-head: Nature's frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
Synonym: A word used when you can't spell the first one.
Syntax? Why not? They tax everything else!
THIS TAGLINE NOT TO BE REMOVED UNDER PENALTY OF LAW.
TOURIST SEASON! DOES that mean we can shoot them?
TSR: Trash System Randomly
TV Truth: All problems can be solved in 30-60 minutes.
TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Tact - changing the subject without changing the mind.
Tact is getting your point across without stabbing someone with it.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
Tagline Serial No.10397 - (C) 1993, All rights reserved ...
Take an astronaut to launch.
Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Take my advice...I'm not using it.
Take time to smell the roses and eventually you'll inhale a bee.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning.
Talk is cheap unless you hire a lawyer.
Talk is cheap since supply exceeds demand.
Talk is cheap because supply inevitably exceeds demand...
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Talking comes by nature, Silence by wisdom.
Talking is another disease of age.
Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
Tax forms should read "income owed us" and "in commode you".
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. And computer...in a cup this time?
Teachers have class.
Teaching is the art of assisting discovery.
Teaching is the fine art of imparting knowledge without possessing it.
Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.
Teamwork is vital! (It gives you someone to blame.)
Technological Civilization: Redundant or Contradictory?
Ted Kennedy's Bumper Sticker: My other car is underwater
Ted Kennedy Party Tip - Take Off Pants, Mingle
Teen Lesbian Nazi Hookers Raped by UFOs! - Geraldo
Television is to media what hydrogen bombs are to explosives.
Television: A Medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
Tell a child he got 1 right, not 99 wrong.
Tell a lie and find the truth.
Tell the truth and run.
Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember.
Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.
Test tube babies get a womb with a view.....
Test-tube babies shouldn't throw stones.
Tetris tagline:             
Th% tagline % compressed.
Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke.
Thank you for not annoying me more than you do...
That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
That does not compute.
That must be wonderful; I don't understand it at all. Molier.
That tagline is TRUE -> <- That tagline is FALSE
That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
That which we resist the most is what we become.
That's a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
That's not a bug, that's a feature.
That's right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
The "C" in Rap is silent.
The Borg - plastic surgery taken too far.
The Borg are coming! Quick! Try and look useless!!
The Buck stops here, the Dough just visits..
The Computer is impressed with Data's hardware.
The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
The Devil falls on account of his gravity.
The Earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much much heavier.
The Electric Chair Choice: Regular or Extra Crispy.
The Golden Rule - He who has the gold makes the rule.
The Military Salute now uses a much limper wrist.
The OFFICIAL tagline of the 1996 Olympics!
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain.
The World: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
The advantage to being a pessimist is that all your surprises are pleasant.
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
The beard does not make the philosopher.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
The best adventurer is not frightened to try something new.
The best alternative to INTELLIGENCE is SILENCE.
The best armor is to keep out of range.
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best defense is a good offense.
The best doctor is the one you run for and can't find.
The best fish swim near the bottom.
The best mirror is an old friend.
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
The best thing to hold onto in this world is each other.
The best time to buy anything is last year.
The best vacations are spent near the budget.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
The bird that can sing and won't sing must be made to sing.
The blood of the soldier makes the glory of the general.
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
The buck stops at the desk over there.
The cautious seldom err.
The characters in this message are recyclable
The chief cause of divorce is matrimony.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
The child had every toy his father ever wanted.
The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
The city is not a concrete jungle.  It is a human zoo.
The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
The cost of feathers is higher, that makes down up.
The cost of memory chips went up. I forget how much.
The cost of feathers has risen...  Now even down is up!
The course of true anything never does run smooth.
The cow is a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.
The cure for love at first sight is to take another look.
The cure may be worse than the disease.
The days of the digital watch are numbered.
The dead outnumber the living more than 30 to 1.
The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
The dentist never talks to his patients until the drill is in their mouths.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
The devil finds work for idle glands.
The difference between ideas and results is a good manager.
The difficult we do immediately. Impossible takes longer.
The dimmer the light, the greater the scandal.
The early bird suffers from insomnia.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier.
The end is near--but wait for the sequel!
The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self.
The first loss is the easiest.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
The first step binds one to the second - French Proverb
The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
The floggings will continue until morale improves.
The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
The fool wanders; the wise man travels.
The fool who is silent can pass for wise.
The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
The future is when you'll wish you'd done what you aren't doing now.
The future is like the present, only longer.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The future is not what it used to be.
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
The good lord willing and the board don't crash.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
The greatest man in history was the poorest.
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
The greatest ability is dependability.
The greatest of all inventors: Accident!!
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people said couldn't be done.
The greatest hate springs from the greatest love.
The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
The hard disk you save may be your own.
The harder you work the luckier you get.
The higher the ape climbs the more he shows his bald haunches.
The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
The human race has only one effective weapon, and that is laughter.
The human race is still in eta test.
The irony of life is that no one gets out alive
The ladder of success is easier to climb when laid flat.
The leading cause of statistics is smoking.
The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
The less influence you have, the longer you wait.
The less you have to do, the less time you find to do it in.
The less you say, the less you have to take back.
The light at the end of the tunnel could be a flame thrower!
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
The longer you keep your temper the better it will get.
The longer the title, the less important the job.
The longer a man is wrong, the surer he is that he's right.
The longer the letter, the less chance of its being read.
The longest list has a final item.
The majority isn't silent--the government is deaf!
The man who invented the eraser had the human race pretty well sized up.
The man who has accomplished all that he thinks worthwhile has begun to die.
The masses are the opium of religion.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.
The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
The mind may wander, but it never forgets.
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
The mob has many heads but no brains.
The more heavily a man should be taxed, the more power he has to avoid it.
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
The more laws, the more offenders.
The more things change, the more they stay insane.
The more things you own, the more you are owned by things.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.
The more you say, the less people remember.
The most difficult thing to open is a closed mind.
The most exciting place to discover talent is within yourself.
The most intelligent people we know are those who ask advice.
The most solid stone is the lowest one in the foundation.
The most valuable gift you can give your family is a good example.
The motor will rotate in the wrong direction.
The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat
The next sentence is true. The last sentence was false
The nice thing about standards is... there's so many of them!
The non-violent Star Trek: Set phasers on tickle.
The nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind.
The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.
The number you have reached is not in service !
The number of a person's relatives is directly proportional to his fame.
The old know more about being young than the young know about being old.
The one who dies with the most toys is dead.
The only alternative to perseverance is failure.
The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
The only one who got everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.
The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
The only short meetings are when no one shows up.
The only stupid question is the one that isn't asked.
The only time some people work like a horse is when their boss rides them.
The only way to learn a new programming language is to write programs in it.
The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
The other line always moves faster.
The past is not what it will be.
The past looks better the farther away you get.
The pen is the tongue of the mind.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
The person who snores loudest will fall asleep first.
The problem with the future is it turns into the present.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The programming is never done.
The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
The purification of politics is an iridescent dream.
The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
The real objective of a committee isn't to reach a decision but to avoid it.
The registered copy don't work either?
The reliability of new equipment is inversely proportional to its cost.
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
The ripest fruit falls first..
The road to success is always under construction
The road to the patent office is paved with good inventions.
The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers.
The root of all evil is the heart of a black soul
The seabird hater left no tern unstoned.
The secret of education lies in respecting the pupil.
The secret to happiness?  Never face facts.
The secret of selling yourself is to have a product you truly believe in.
The shortest distance between two points is generally under repair.
The shortest answer is doing.
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.
The smallest handcuff in the world is a wedding ring.
The squeaking wheel gets the grease.
The strength of a chain is it's weakest link.
The temporary alternative to death is insecurity.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
The three most dreaded words of computing. Hard Disk Failure.
The trick to flying, missing the ground.
The trodden path is the safest.
The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it's a cat.
The trouble with resisting temptation is that it may never come again.
The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.
The trouble with reality is there's no background music
The truth doesn't hurt unless it ought to.
The truth is more important than the facts.
The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
The truth is always the strongest argument.
The truth, however, is not pertinent to the issue.
The tweeters are all burned out....
The two most beautiful words in English are "Cheque Enclosed".
The universe is simple - it's the explanation that's complex.
The upper crust is just a bunch of crumbs clinging together.
The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
The wildest colts make the best steeds.
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
The world gets better every day, then worse again in the evening.
The world is an 8000 mile diametre spherical pile of dirt.
The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
The world is full of surprises, very few of which are pleasant.
The world's full of cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.
The world's gone to the dogs, & the fleas are in charge.
The worm in the sour apple doesn't know any better.
The worst hatred is that of relatives.
The worst ice cream flavor is probably squirrel.
The worst thing about ignorance is its insistency.
The worst thing about censorship is .
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The young are slaves to novelty, the old to custom.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper.
There IS intelligent life in the universe... It ignores us...
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
There are 3 kinds of people - those who can count & those who can't.
There are _no_ absolute statements.
There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
There are no winners in life; only survivors.
There are no absolute answers to life - just revelations.
There are no facts, only interpretations.
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics.
There are three things that come next, uh four...
There cannot be a crisis next week... my schedule is already full.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
There goes another Sound Blaster: Snap, Crackle & Pop!
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head.
There is a skeleton in every old house.
There is a difference between a tag line and a philosophy
There is always free cheese in a mousetrap.
There is much to be said for failure.  It is more interesting than success.
There is never sunshine without shadow.
There is no gravity, the Earth sucks.
There is no covert agency watching you. Everyone is watching you!
There is no better looking-glass than an old friend.
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
There is no such thing as a "Fail Safe" design.
There is no fool like an old fool.
There is no X in ESPRESSO.
There never was a good knife made of bad steel.
There's always 1 more SOB than you counted on.
There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
There's more planes in the ocean than ships in the sky!
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
There's no future in time travel.
There's no fool like an old fool, 'cause he's experienced.
There's no skeletons in my closet!
There's no sense being pessimistic, it wouldn't work anyway.
There's only one thing worth being remebered for... Everything!!
There's so much to learn and so much of it not worth learning.
Theres never time to do it right, only time to do it over.
Thesaurus....ancient reptile with excellent vocabulary.
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
These are serious charges. Spock STV
These cookies don't taste anything like girl scouts!
They also serve who only stand and wait.
They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
They invented the vaccine to Polio before they invented the cure.
They who drink beer will think beer.
They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.
Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse.
Things that make you go, "HMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm . . .?"
Things work better if you plug them in.
Things worth having are worth cheating for.
Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.
Think much, speak little, and write less.
Think of it as evolution in action.
Thinking is more interesting that knowing but less interesting than looking.
Thinking is wise, planning is better, doing is best.
Thinking must be hard work because not many people do it
This     tagline     is      justified     .
This cookie is void where prohibited, licensed, or taxed.
This fellow's wise enough to play the fool.
This information fills a much needed gap.
This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
This is an egg.  This is a frying pan.  Any questions?
This is an airlock, Allow me to demonstrate  Worf
This is an evaluation copy. OK, so I'm taking my time ...
This is the offcial tagline of the Sydney 2000 Olympics!
This is your brain: .   This is my brain: O   Any questions?
This man shouldn't be dead. I can't find anything wrong with him.-McCoy
This message will self destruct in 5 seconds...5..4..3..2
This open hand of desire wants everything.
This score just in - Deep Space 9, Babylon 5.
This tagline intentionally left blank...
This tagline no verb.
This tagline invisible to all whose I.Q. exceeds mine.
This tagline is shareware - to register send $45 to me.
This would easier understand fewer had ommitted.
This  tagline has  a lot of  bugs in  it ...
Those who can, Do. Those who can't, Criticize.
Those who do the most usually demand the least.
Those who live by the sword KILL those who don't.
Those who like sausages or political policy should not watch it being made.
Those who think they know it all upset those of us who do.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Thou shall not kill, unless it's for dinner!
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's tagline
Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Time - Nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at once.
Time and words can never be recalled.
Time flies like an arrow -- fruit flies like a banana.
Time for culture, gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet.
Time goes? No.  Alas time stays, we go.
Time is just nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Time is natures way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Time is precious, but truth is more so.
Time is so everything doesn't happen at once.
Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Tips: Wages we pay other people's hired help.
Titleist tango: The wiggles some golfers make before every shot.
To a cat, "NO!" means "Not while I'm looking!"
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
To avoid embarrasment, don't tell anyone else your intentions!
To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
To baldly go where no one has gone before : Picard
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
To be or not to be, those are the parametres.
To be too clever is to be stupid.
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
To boldly go where no man has..... Oh, Hello!
To boldly go where no sane man has any business.
To climb a ladder, you begin with the first rung.
To do nothing is in every person's power.
To err is human; to blame it on someone else is more human.
To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.
To err is human; to forgive is against company policy.
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
To find a policeman in a hurry, double-park.
To get a loan you must prove you don't need it.
To have a friend you must first be one.
To his dog every man is Napoleon.
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
To know recursion, you must first know recursion.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
To live outside the law, you must be an honest man.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
To make a speech immortal you don't have to make it everlasting.
To reformat a CD-ROM, use steel wool & heavy pressure.
To regret nothing is the beginning of wisdom.
To rest is to rust.
To scare a bird is not the way to catch it.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now.
To take a stand, one must have legs to stand on.
To take a stand, one first must have legs to stand on.
To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
To understand other's miseries, look at their pleasures.
To whom should I go to for some self-help?
Toad - n. What happens to an illegally parked frog.
Today I am feeling ept, ane and sipid.
Today I am feeling ept, ane, and sipid.
Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
Today has been a long year!
Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
Today is the last day of your life (so far).
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Today is the scene of the accident.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Today's subliminal message is             .
Today, take an astronaut to launch.
Tomorrow never comes.
Tongue tied & twisted, just an earthbound misfit I.
Too busy to laugh? Then you are too busy.
Too few of the bucks stop here.
Too many pages make a tome.
Too many people confuse free speech with loose talk.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
Too old to know better, too young to resist!
Took an hour to bury the cat.  Silly thing kept moving!
Took an hour to bury the cat. Damn thing kept moving.
Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
Trade is the mother of money.
Tragedy: Busload of lawyers driving off a cliff with 3 empty seats.
Transwarp drive in 5 4 3 2 1...<cough> <sputter> <clunk>
Trash your "To Do List"; you won't do it anyway.
Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right.
Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Tresspassers will be SHOT, survivors will be SHOT AGAIN!
Tribble math: * + * = ******************************
Tribble meets Ford at 65Mph ---> ____
Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
Trouble with political jokes is they get elected.
Troubleshooting Shortcut #1: Shoot the Trouble.
Trust everybody, but always cut the cards.
Trust me, I know how how this works....
Trust me, would I lie to you..... TWICE?
Truth won't be in until after lunch.
Try Milk of Amnesia - when you need to forget.
Try to look unimportant. They MAY be low on ammo.
Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long.
Two guys walk into a bar. Why didn't the second one duck?
Two heads are better than one.
Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Two things I hate: People that can't count.
Two writes don't make a novel!
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Two's company and three's the result.
U.S.A.  The United States of Advertising
UFO's are real; the Air Force doesn't exist.
USER ERROR:  Replace user and press any key to continue.
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee
UnZip, expand, explode... What kind of pervert came up with this?
Unable to locate Diet Coke - Operator irritating!
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Unbelief in one thing springs = blind belief in another.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under socailism it's the opposite.
Understanding is the key. Maybe it's under the mat.
Unfair! A battle of wits and you are unarmed!
Unwritten laws can not be erased.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Use "DEVICE=EXXON" to screw up your environment.
Use contraceptives on every conceivable occasion!
Use it up ... Wear it out.  Make it do ... Or do without.
Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake.
Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
Used Iraqi rifles for sale: Dropped once, never fired.
User - a technical term used by computer pros. See idiot.
Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
Vanity is the food of fools.
Variables won't; constants aren't.
Veni, Vidi, VCR -- I came, I saw, I videotaped it.
Verbal agreements frequently lead to verbal disagreements.
Verbosity: Refuge Of Those With Nothing Original To Say.
Very funny, Scotty - now beam up my clothes.
Very good, Einstein, but next time show your work.
Very unfortunate. We will be dead. - Worf
Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Exploration Team: 1999-1955.
Virginity can be cured.
Virtual: not knowing where your next byte is coming from.
Virtuality Has Taken Precedence Over Reality!
Virtue is its own revenge.
Virtuoso: A musican with high morals.
Virus detected!  P)our chicken soup on motherboard?
Virus: "Something that corrupts or poisons the mind or soul" (Dictionary)
VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
Visit your money this year - vacation in Washington, D.C.
Volcano: A moutain with hiccups.
Vote 1 AGRO - For Prime Minister!!!
Vows made in storms are forgotten in calms.
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
W el l,  I  f ou n d th e s  pac  e b a   r
WARNING... drinking tap water may kill your thirst!
WHAT? Take you to our leader? PLEASE take him with you!
WHAT??? Give up C:\> for silly ICONS?
WIN Error #104: Operator fell asleep while waiting
WIN.COM not found: (A)bort (R)etry (W)ho cares?
WORK HARDER!... Millions on welfare depend on YOU!!!
Wait until it is night before saying it has been a fine day.
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
Walk the path of life the way you like but look out for snakes.
Walt Disney is in suspended animation.
Wanna do something big? Pick up a boulder.
Wanna giggle? Try (EDITOR=EDLIN !) in anything.
Want to confuse people? Quote from the wrong message!
Want to forget all your troubles? Wear tight shoes.
Wanted: Programmers. Some assembly required.
Wanted: Woman with computer. Send photo of computer.
War never decides who is right, only who is left.
Warning: any tagline I see is fair game.
Warning: drinking water may kill your thirst!
Warp 5, Engage.. $%^#!! More clutch, Data! MORE CLUTCH!
Warranty: If it breaks, both halves are yours.
Wasting time is an important part of life.
Watch out for number one, but don't step in number two.
Water created humans so it would have containers.
Wave Mechanics - people who fix waves.
Wave to your neighbor, Word to your mother.
We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older, and ...
We all have our darker side. We need it...
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We are Channel 9 of Borg. Your regular timeslot has been assimilated.
We are NOT surrounded.  We are in a target-rich environment.
We are Play School of Borg. Prepare to be assimilated by Big Teddy.
We are all related...relatively speaking.
We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
We ask advice but we mean approbation.
We do not count a man's years until he has nothing else to count.
We do precision guesswork.
We do. We are. What more can you ask for?
We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.
We got rid of our kids. The cats are allergic!
We hate delay, yet it makes us wise.
We have an equal opportunity Calculus class -- it's fully integrated.
We have engaged the Borg. The wedding is Sunday!
We have met the enemy, and he's all yours!
We have resumed control...we have resumed control...
We hired you to babysit. You cooked and ate them BOTH?
We learn by our mistakes, why do I make so many?
We learn from history that we don't learn from history.
We live in a world where nothing is impossible, except peace and happiness.
We look for things. Things that make us go.
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
We must believe in free will. We have no choice.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled tagline.
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
We put up with being surpassed more easily than with being equaled.
We secretly replaced the dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals...
We should back the metric system every 2.54cm of the way.
We should go metric every inch of the way.
We speak old metaphors, and we feel proud...
We sweat so we don't catch fire when making love.
We take drugs very seriously at my house...
We will, we will, Pun you!
We'll have solar power when the power companies develop a sunbeam metre.
We're all going down the same road in different directions.
We're all part of the human race but racing faster won't make us more human.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
We're sorry, but reality is not in service at this time.
Weak things united become strong.
Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs.
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Well begun is half done.
Well done is better than well said.
Wesley, go clean out the photon torpedo tube * Picard
Wesley: "Uncle Picard, what means "WARP CORE BREACH" on this display?"
What I ought to do, I can; if I can, why don't I?
What a day may bring, a day may take away.
What are fiends for? - Richard Nixon
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
What has four legs and an arm?....... A happy pit bull.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What is all this about violins on television?
What is done by night appears by day.
What is learned in youth is understood in age.
What is mine is mine, yours is negotiable.
What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
What is the True meaning of DOS?
What is the half-life of a television set?
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking someone else to do.
What makes Teflon stick to the pan?
What many orators lack in depth they give you in length.
What may be, may not be.
What one does to weeds and grasses.
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
What the world needs is an electric match.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
What we learn after we know it all is what counts.
What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?
What you are, not what you have, is what makes you rich.
What you enjoy is much more important than what you have.
What you learn to your cost you remember long.
What you see can depend on what you look for.
What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
What's another word for thesaurus?
What's with the wierd Starship symbol sir?  Volkswagen Class.
What's worth doing is worth doing for money.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
Wheaties and beer: the Breakfast of ex-champions.
When I die, I'm leaving my body to Science Fiction.
When I first started work I dreamed of earing the salary I'm starving on now.
When I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger.
When I lay an egg, I stand back and admire it!
When I left this ship. It was in one piece. * Picard
When I talk to myself, I'm talkin' to the wrong person.
When I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you...
When I was a kid, I was an imaginary playmate.
When I was your age we carved our transistors out of wood
When a man lies he murders part of the world.
When a man is down everyone runs over him.
When a man says money can't do anything, that settles it.. he hasn't any.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she stops listening to him.
When all else fails, blame it on the guy next to you!
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all is said and done more will be said than done.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
When an agnostic dies, does he go to the Great Perhaps?
When an oyster is irritated, it makes a pearl.
When angry, count to ten; when very angry, count to a hundred.
When are you joining reality?
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl!
When everybody is somebody, then nobody is anybody.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
When faith & hope fail try charity - it's love in action.
When governments fall, people like me are lined up & shot.
When in doubt; Cheat!
When in doubt, mumble.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate!
When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
When money talks there are few interruptions.
When my mind wanders away, I'm left sitting here.
When need is greatest help is nearest.
When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
When people share their fears with you, share some courage.
When planning for posterity, we must remember that virtue is not hereditary.
When policy fails, try thinking.
When poverty knocks at the door, love flies out the window.
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns.
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
When riding dragons, don't let your mind go blank.
When shooting a mime, do you need a silencer?
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
When the People lead, the "Leaders" will follow.
When the bad combine, the good must associate.
When the chips are down, the buffalo's empty.
When the igloo is rocking, don't bother knocking!
When the well is dry we know the worth of water.
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
When we are not sure, we are alive.
When we can't dream the time for death has arrived.
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
When you are in a peach orchard, don't look for turnips.
When you breathe you inspire, when you don't... you expire.
When you can't make it GOOD, make it BIG!
When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
When you get what you want you don't want it as much.
When you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
When you go far enough, you'll meet yourself.
When you have sour cream every problem looks like a potato.
When you kill time you murder success.
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
When you're over the hill, you pick up speed!
When you're through changing, you're through.
When you're up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When you're over the hill, you pick up speed.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Whenever I get a grip on reality, the handle falls off.
Whenever I hear the word Culture, I reach for my revolver.
Whenever Possible, Put People On Hold
Whenever the Canon is fired, it shoots out a YATI.
Whenever you learn all the answers, they change all the questions.
WherE Did KLingonS leArn to CapitaLize?
Where am I going? And why am I in this handbasket?
Where am I and who are these strange people?
Where am I? And why am I in this handbasket??
Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?
Where do honey bees go potty?  At a BP station naturally.
Where in the world does the guy who has everything put it?
Where is "Old" Zealand?
Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
Where the heck is the ANY key????
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.
Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.
Where there's a will, there's a lawsuit.
Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
Where there is no shame, there is no honour.
Where we operate at is a 90 angle to reality.
Where you've been means much less than where you're going.
Where's there's smoke, there's toast.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.
Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?
Which of my enemies told you I was paranoid?
White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
Who knows most says least.
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Whoever lies with dogs rises with fleas.
Whoever rows the boat doesn't have time to rock it.
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
Why are today's rough times always tomorrow's good old days?
Why be a man when you can be a success?
Why bother phoning a psychic? Let them phone you!
Why can I never find Troi when I'm mad at her?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do expenses always rise to meet income?
Why do programs get bigger when they're "faster than the older version?"
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
Why does bread always fall butter side down?
Why does the other line always move faster?
Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there?
Why glue my bills together? It's a mail bonding ritual.
Why go second class when 1st class is only $25?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Why is everyone complaining about "youth in Asia?"
Why is it that time softens some people and hardens others?
Why is it that old wives' tales often succeed where logic fails?
Why is there only one "Monopolies Commission?"
Why was Worf stuck to the ceiling?  Static Klingon!
Wickedness is its own greatest punishment.
Will compute for food.
Will you come quietly, or shall I use ear plugs?
Win Some Lose Some....But When Do I Win Some?
Win at first and lose at last.
Win without boasting and lose without excuse.
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Windows Error 0x001:  Error 0x002 occured.
Windows IS NOT a virus. Viruses do something.
Windows practical joke: Write a program that works.
Windows speed tip: type DEL \WINDOWS\*.*
Windows: A demo program that comes with the mouse you bought.
Windows: Brought to you by the makers of Edlin!
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Windows: Run....Walk......Crawl....Stop.
Windows: so intuitive it only needs one meg of help files.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Winning isn't everything, but then losing is nothing.
Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
Wisdom is the sunlight of the soul.
Wise men change their minds, fools never.
Wise men never play leapfrog with unicorns.
Wise people are full of doubts (I think).
Wishes won't wash dishes.
Wit and wisdom are rarely seen together.
Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
Witches use brooms because nature abhors a vacuum.
With consequences,  the unexpected always predominate.
With foxes we must play the fox.
With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike.
Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Women do come with instructions, just ask them!
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Women's clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
Women, wind and fortune soon change.
Wonders will never cease to amaze me!
Words and ideas are what change our world.
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
Words, words, words.  And no place to put them all!
Worf becomes angry at the thought of brushing his teeth.
Work is the curse of the drinking man.
Work is the price you pay for money.
Work: a necessary evil for money to buy computer stuff.
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Would like to go where no one has gone before
Would the Standing Committee sit down?
Would you believe... this is a tagline?
Would you give your right arm to be ambidextrous?
Would you let a bug escape because it did not bite you?
Would you trust a POLITICIAN to run the country?
Wrinkles are sure signs of where smiles have been.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Yeah, but what's the speed of DARK?
Yes, and by the same token, no.
Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody knows.
Yesterday I couldn't spell "computer programmer".  Now I are one.
Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
Yoda of Borg am I.  Assimilated will you be - Yes?
Yogi Bare was a Buddhist Nudist.
You Klingon sons, you've killed my bastard... no, wait..
You ain't learning nothing when you're talking.
You always find something in the last place you look.
You are in a maze of twisty passages...
You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.
You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
You are talking to a Program that passed the Turing test!
You are the winner of one of these prizes...
You aren't here forever, Enjoy each day as a miracle.
You argue with yourself and LOSE??? -- Problem!!
You can always find what you are not looking for.
You can be honest or wealthy,....not honest _and_ wealthy!
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
You can lead a horse to water, and if he walks on it patent him.
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
You can never discard too many bad ideas.
You can observe a lot by just watching.
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
You can tell when politicians are lying...They move their lips.
You can't believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
You can't do that. It's been digitally cursed.
You can't eat your friends and have them too.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
You can't step twice in the same river.
You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it or they don't.
You can't tell a book by its movie.
You can't win them all, but you can sure lose them all.
You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.
You cannot tell how deep a puddle is until you step in it.
You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
You cannot judge a horse by it's harness.
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
You don't buy beer, you just rent it...
You don't have to be a cannibal to get fed up with people.
You go Uruguay, I'll go mine.
You gotta know when to code 'em, know when to modem.
You have 2 choices for dinner--take it or leave it.
You have lived if you have loved.
You have the bridge, Number One--I have to go number two!
You have violated Robot's Rules of Order.
You have your problems, and I have yours.
You in the red uniform, see what that noise is."-- Kirk
You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred...
You know what's going on, don't you? * Ace
You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
You make ends meet...and they hate each other!
You may be Southern -- but you're no Comfort.
You may shut your doors against a thief but not against a liar.
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean too far backward.
You might as well. I stole yours.
You must know much before you know how little you know.
You need to relax, Dax. Take a chill pill, Trill!
You never "find" time, but you can always "make" it.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You only have a problem if you think it is a problem.
You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
You should presently be able to deal from a full deck.
You tell 'em Owl, You're wise.
You tell 'em Operator, You've got their number.
You tell 'em Goldfish, You've been around the globe.
You tell 'em Banana, You've been skinned.
You tell 'em Mountain, I'm only a bluff.
You tell 'em Cat, That's what you're fur.
You tell 'em Electricity, You can shock 'em.
You tell 'em Simon, I'll Legree.
You tell 'em Hunter, I'm game.
You tell 'em Envelope, You're well posted.
You tell 'em Bean, He's stringing you.
You tell 'em Submarine, I can't seaplane.
You tell 'em Moon, You're out all night.
You tell 'em Piano, You're upright and square.
You tell 'em Butcher, You've got a lot of tongue.
You tell 'em June, And don't July.
You tell 'em Horse, You carry a tale.
You tell 'em Railway, It's not along my line.
You tell 'em Church Bell, I told you.
You tell 'em Bank, You're safe.
You tell 'em Doctor, You've got the patience.
You tell 'em Cucumber, I've been pickled.
You tell 'em Cigarette, You're lit up.
You tell 'em Chloroform, You can put them to sleep.
You tell 'em Dictionary, You're full of information.
You tell 'em Dentist, You've got the pull.
You tell 'em Teacher, You've got the class.
You tell 'em, Bald Head, You're smooth.
You tell 'em Manicurist, I've been trimmed.
You tell 'em Shoemaker, You know awl.
You tell 'em Clock, You've got the time.
You tell 'em Brake, You've got the drag.
You tell 'em Gambler, You've got winning ways.
You tell 'em playing cards, You know the joker.
You tell 'em Cashier, I'm a poor teller.
You tell 'em Custard Pie, You've got the crust.
You tell 'em cabbage, You've got the head.
You tell 'em September Morn, No one has anything on you.
You tell 'em Dough, You're well bred.
You tell 'em Calendar, You've got lots of dates.
You tell 'em Cemetrey, You are so grave.
You tell 'em Printer, I'm not your type.
You tell 'em Hard-Boiled Egg, You're hard to beat.
You tell 'em Skyscraper, You have more than one story.
You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a three-year old.
You will never be younger than you are today...& vice versa.
You will spend the rest of your life in the future.
You'd make a perfect stranger.
You'll never get dizzy doing a good turn.
You're a loser when your dog gets a new best friend.
You're never alone with schizophrenia
You're never a loser until you quit trying.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
You're old when you forget how to start your rocking chair.
You're only young once. You're immature forever.
You're so vain, I bet you think this tagline's about you.
You're twisted and sick; I like that in a person!
You've been smoking that stuff again, uh?
You've got to have an ace in the hole.
You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution.
Young flesh and old fish are best.
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
Your program is sick!  Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
Youth isn't a time of life but a state of mind.
Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman's age.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
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`NO GUTS NO GLORY' `NO FEAR'
` -- oh no, a worm in my hard drive!
butt at laest i coud spel propley!
dy(3x^4 + 2x-5)/dx = 12x^3 + 2
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
shift key/ never heard of it1111
why call it Windows 95?   'cos 95% of computers can't run it?
|||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work.
\/r Sڿ  /\g_i Do ̹S?
